DOUBLE-edged headline of the week (not from this newspaper): "Davao property value in 2009 to go up 300%."

I bet that set a few hearts thumping out there -- "Hey hon, let's sell that useless lot behind the slaughterhouse next year. We'll get three times this year's price."

What's your take on the Mindanao crisis? Discuss views with other readers

No. What the headline actually means is that next year (or the year after) you and I are likely to find ourselves paying 300% more realty tax on our properties.

I've long been fascinated by the multiplicity of property values. The BIR has one and the Assessor's Office another. Realty agents sell for what the market will bear, no relation to worth at all, while agents routinely add (and without telling the vendor) P500 or P1000 per square meter to jack up their (tax-free) cut.

Realty taxes in theory pay for services -- road maintenance, drainage, street lights -- and for what we get Davao's rates (along with the price of potable water) must be among the cheapest in the world and long may they continue to be. Easy to pay too -- the (relatively) new computer process means that we can pay realty tax for lots scattered in different barangays at only one treasury office.

I use the Buhangin branch -- one visit, twenty minutes, finished for the year. A one-stop-shop in the true sense of the word.

ABS-CBN's early evening news has been flashing a lot of crime statistics. I write flashing because they're only on screen for the blink of an eye, time to read about three words and then "zing" they've gone.

What intrigues me with all these facts and figures is the word solved. This police precinct -- 80% murders solved. That precinct -- 75% solved.

Solved to me means the villain apprehended, convicted, and banged up in the slammer for 30 years and somehow I think that's a different interpretation to our police departments.

The neighbors whisper that Jean dela Cruz did it -- Who's nowhere to be found. Never mind. Solved. Tick it off the list.

And, by the way, ABS-CBN, could you do something about that awful funereal music which introduces the Bantay Bata segment. True, the items are serious but that music is sooooo depressing. I'll wager as soon as it comes on there's a rush to the kitchen to brew cups of tea and coffee, oh no, here comes the doom and gloom.

Lastly, lastly and Pun of the Week Award goes to House Speaker Prospero Nograles who reportedly said of a civic leader: "He lies through his teeth depending on who he is rooting for."

Round of applause, please.

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(December 2, 2008 issue)
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