De la Cruz-Busto: Getting by

WHEN we decided to subject our mother to surgery, a number of friends and relatives were not as supportive. They cautioned us that it would be financially draining on our part, citing similar situations. They presented us with endless computation of costs that run to seven figures, yes, millions."

While I hate to equate money with survival, it is however a sad reality that all of us have to deal with. These days money indeed talks.

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Depressing as it is, without money most people will barely survive. When our eldest sister signed the "Promissory Note" to pay for the cost of our mother's cranium surgery to remove the massive blood clotting in her brain two months ago, I remember her telling me hours before the surgery "bahala na pakulong na lang ako."

What she meant at the time was that we needed to push through with our mother's surgery as soon as possible, no matter how much the cost of the procedure. We knew the high cost that goes with the surgery but we really did not care about it. We were concerned what ought to be done at that time and not with how much we only had. Again, clich‚ as it may sound, we all can recoup the resources expended but not the lives of our loved ones, and for my family, the life of our dear mother.

Now, it has been almost three months since our mother had her surgery and I thought we would not make it through, financially speaking. Our family, after all, is like any other ordinary Filipino family average wage earners, who earn our keep.

When we decided to subject our mother to surgery, a number of friends and relatives were not as supportive. They cautioned us that it would be financially draining on our part, citing similar situations. They presented us with endless computation of costs that run to seven figures, yes, millions.

Of course, it would be hypocritical of us to say we were not skeptical about our decision but we went through with it anyway leaving everything to God. With the thought that we at least, did all we could in our capacity. As the late Cardinal Jaime Sin would say, "leave the rest to God." That is what we exactly did and with God's grace, we still have our mother with us and that is what really matters most.

For each day that passed, we are profusely grateful to see our mother breathe, open her eyes and move on her own. In all these, the factor that mattered most is our affection which is her motivation for life and for living, not really money.

I am overjoyed that we are getting by, no matter how. I know to sustain our mother's full recovery, our family, especially my four other siblings, have to work doubly hard to keep our family together in this time of trial.

My younger sister, who was supposed to take on a job overseas, had decided to stay and doing so actually opened a good opportunity for her. In a matter of days, she will embark on a similar career but with better rewards, not to mention the fact that she will be staying in the country. A brother, on the other hand, is also in the process of relocating to Davao to closely monitor our mother's situation. These are all acts of God and not money.

I know my recent articles have become my journal chronicling our journey as a family going through trials and triumphs. But I also know we all go through the same periods in our lives albeit with different circumstances. Sharing my thoughts and that of my family at this stage in our lives has probably become my "Won Thing." As Peggy McColl tackles in her book "The Won Thing: The 'One' Secret to a Totally Fulfilling Life," is about our ability to create the circumstances of our lives.

The book is one fulfilling read as it makes us realize a lot of things, too, like how we do not have complete control over everything, and how we also are not as powerless as we may think. In her book, McColl says, "If we're looking for someone to do the work of changing our lives for us, trust me, it's not going to happen. We've got to rescue ourselves."

Happiness, after all, comes from inner strength and spiritual wealth, not material wealth. "Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also. To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it."