Dumb Questions

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By Rene Lizada

Papa's table

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

YOU know them. Sometimes you even ask them.

Dumb Question Number one: You just fell and you scraped your knee and there is blood. You grimace in pain. And your friend asks, Masakit?

I mean what kind of an idiotic question is that? Why ask in the first place? It is obvious that you scraped your knee, it is obvious that it is painful and yet it is not obvious to your friend that it is indeed painful, thus the question, Masakit?

Dumb Question Number two: You have just arrived and you are parking your car. Your car is totally wet because it was raining when you left. When you arrive and someone notices that your car is wet all over and comments: Umulan ba?

Well in situations like one is tempted to snap back and say something like: Ay hindi, basa ang kotse ko kasi dumaan ako sa ilog, kasi I tested yung latest technology ng car ko which is pwede rin sya maging submarine. Or walang ulan, iniyakan yung kotse ko dahil believe na believe sila sa underwater technology.

Dumb Question Number three: You all know this. Classroom scenario and the teacher announces a quiz and yells: One half. And every dummy yells back: One half? That goes to show people just automatically say things without thinking. One half? Yes one half of your brain is missing!

Dumb Question Number four: Woman who is obviously pregnant meets a long lost friend.

PW: Uy kumusta ka na?
LLF: Okay lang, buntis ka?
Hmmm. This is too good to be true. You have a lot of answers for this. Use your imagination!
1) Hindi, uminum ako ng limang gallon ng tubig.
2) Hindi, kumain ako ng baka.
3) Hindi, galing ako vulcanizing shop and nagpalagay ako ng hangin.

Dumb Question Number five: You just stepped out of a movie house and your friend sees you and asks: Nag sine ka? Sus intawon pud uy! Talk about the obvious. Well instead of getting irritated you can always reply:

1) Ay hindi, naga ikot-ikot lang ako dito sa entrance. See, pasok, labas, labas, pasok. Gusto mo mag join?
2) Nope, papasok pa ako pero gusto ko magpasok by walking backwards.

Dumb Question Number six. You are in the emergency room because someone just stabbed you. Suddenly a friend sees you and rushes towards you and says: Okay ka lang? I have a suggestion here; if you cannot beat them, join them.

Here is what you can do. Stand up if you can, after all you still have that knife in your belly, then look for a scalpel and stab that idiot friend of yours and it is your turn to ask: Okay ka lang?

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on July 04, 2012.

Lifestyle

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