Loving-A A +A
Sunday, October 27, 2013
THE best way to find out if someone cares for you, loves you is in the manner in which they treat you. The rest is just air, hypocrisy or selfishness. Words are cheap. Your true motives are seen in your actions and not what you say to others.
When you love someone, there is no force or intimidation. You love a person and you do what you do not because you are forced to but because you like to simply because you love the person. A parent will not do purposely do things to hurt his or her child unless of course that parent is a nut. A spouse will not deliberately hurt his or her partner unless he or she is some form of sadist. A friend will not intentionally do harm unless that friend is not one.
It is very easy to claim and profess that we love others. That does not take so much. All people can do that, including hypocrites and liars. It is very easy to talk.
And how do we know if we are loved? And how do we know if we love sincerely? Well let us take a look at it. Corinthians 13 to be exact.
Love is patient and kind. When you love someone you are patient and kind. You do not hurt the person; you do not put the person down. You do not insult him or her. You are kind. You care about what he or she feels and thinks. And you are patient. You do not rush the person and force him to do things. You do not impose your will on her and say, why don’t you be like this or like that. You embrace the person for what she is.
It is not envious. Love does not say, I am better than you or try to better the other person. To a person who truly loves, it is never a competition. A loving person does not become jealous because jealousy implies insecurity and that has no place in genuine love. If you succeed, I shall rejoice with you. I shall applaud you.
Love does not boast. Dili hambog. It is not arrogant. Some of the most arrogant people have nothing to say and they are some of the most insecure creatures on earth. They have to boast because there is nothing inside and they use others to propel their insecurities. They use others to show how great they are. That is not love, that is fear lurking. Love is not proud. It never is. True love is humility. True love is stillness and quiet. Pride and boastfulness are loud. They are also empty.
Love does not dishonor others. Of course. When you love someone, you honor and respect the person. You do not put her down, you respect him. And what does that exactly mean? You take the person for what he or she is. No one is better than you. Just different.
Love is not self seeking. When you love, you take care of the other person and not you. True love is not ego satisfaction. The person whom you claim to love is not someone you manipulate or use for your own greed and satisfaction.
Love does not keep a record of wrongs. Love forgives and forgets. It does not keep a litany of what you have done wrong. Or worse it does not keep a list of things it did for someone. That is not all love, that is stupidity.
So, if someone uses you, reminds you of what they did for you, hurts you, puts you down, is very arrogant with you, does not accept you for what you are, constantly puts you down and says they love you, well you know better. That is not loving.
It is something else but it is not love.
Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on October 28, 2013.