Doesn't know how to forgive 2 (Last of two parts)

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Tuesday, July 1, 2014


Dear Lucy K.,

Here we are again. At this time, we'll try to lead you the way on how you will be able to forgive others and yourself. In order for you to do this, you have to be able to have compassion or sympathy and be able to take care of your feelings. Here's how!

1. Develop an understanding of your emotions. Find a quiet place and pay attention to the emotions that may come while you will think of a situation that will hurt you. You might be able to feel a lot of emotions. At this time, mark each one of these emotions. Now, if you feel, there's so much of the negatives than what is positive, pay now your attention to these sensations. Then, allow yourself to process them slowly. It may take time. But, it's OK. Be sure to accept that and name that feeling. After that, ask yourself - what else you might be feeling? Now, if you still have another negativity, deal with that again the same way you did with the first negative feeling you have worked with. Then, keep on doing this until you will be able to face all the negativities of your emotions. Do them slowly so you can really deal with them right.

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2. Be sure to be friends with your emotions. Try to practice - "talking" with your self - to your emotions. Remember, yourself can be your best friend. Just don't do this, when somebody is around or else, they might think that you are psychotic...hehe.. Try to console yourself with kind words of understanding - if you feel you are at the end of the rope. You can try this: " I know and understand that this really hurts and what she did really hurts you. But, it's okay that you feel this way. You are not someone who doesn't have feelings."

3. Try to understand the motivation of the other person's actions. Get to their shoes as much as possible so, you will be able to understand what the other person is thinking when they acted that way. What do you think they are experiencing in their lives that might have influenced their actions? What do you think they were thinking and have felt at that time? Try to understand that their actions can be a reflection of their limitations or weaknesses. We all have our limitations and weaknesses, aren't we? Remember, you don't do this, so they can be exempted from the karma of life. This is to give sense of what they did even, it is hurtful to others and to you.

As much as there are still a lot to talk about regarding your issues, let me continue this again in my next issue. Until then!

Dr. Fritz

(For your questions, you may send them to Dear Dr. Fritz, c/o Sunstar-Davao Publishing Inc., Ebro-Pelayo Building, Jacinto St., Davao City, (former Department of Foreign Affairs office), across Ateneo de Davao University and beside Holy Child School of Davao, or you e-mail them to dokfritz@yahoo.com. Sorry that we cannot answer all your questions. Thank you for your understanding!)

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on July 01, 2014.

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