Superman

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Tuesday, September 2, 2014


I WAS watching Man of Steel a few days ago when a thought struck me. In the movie, Superman landed in Kansas in the United States. I was wondering what would have happened to Superman if he had landed in Davao, Philippines. I mean, what would he be like if he landed somewhere in Matina or Obrero or Lanang or Calinan or Panacan or Lasang. Or Buda.

For all we know Superman could have ended up speaking Davao Tagalog.

Citizen: Superman, tulungan mo kami beh.

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Superman: Ano man magawa para sa inyo?
C: Yung bahay ginaanod na nang malakas ng tubig.
S: Maghintay ka lang ha kay ginahabol ko pa yung mga kawatan.
C: Ha? Pano man yan? Baka maanod kami.
S: Hintay lang lagi. Ako bahala.
C: O sige basta promise me na magbalik ka sa amin ha?
S: Oo lagi.

Or Superman could have those Davao or Filipino traits:

1) Having a Filipino name. For all you know Clark Kent could have been Juan Luparon

2) He would always be late in saving people because he is in Filipino time.

3) He eats durian, rambutan, lanzones and mangosteen. And kinilaw.

4) He will call every one Tita or Tito or Kuya or Ate.

5) He will have an H in superman as in Shuper Man or Super Mhan.

6) He will laugh when someone stumbles.

7) When you visit him, he will ask you, nag kain kana?

8) If he is from Davao, he will do the indak-indak.

9) He could be an OFW. Overseas Flying Worker

10) He would scratch his head if he does not know what to do.

11) He plays pusoy.

12) He would eat Spam for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

13) When he tries to catch the attention of someone he yells, "hoy!"

14) Or he goes Psssssst!

15) He has a piano that no one plays.

16) When he takes a bath, instead of the shower he uses the "tabo."

17) He starts playing Christmas carols in September.

18) He eats ham during Christmas.

19) He has a fly swatter.

20) He has two sets of uniform. MWF and TTh. Saturdays and Sundays are wash days.

21) His favorite breakfast is champorado and bulad.

22) He dunks the pan de sal in his coffee.

23) He has Vienna sausage.

24) He saves plastic bags.

25) He has a lot of fake items ranging from pants to shirts to shoes.

26) If he stays in a hotel, he collects the soap, shampoo and even the disposable slippers.

27) He has a lot of plates and glasses that are used only when he has visitors from other planets.

28) He has so many pirated DVDs.

29) His costume will be ethnic inspired.

30) He likes karaoke.

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on September 03, 2014.

Lifestyle

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