Custodio: Problematic thoughts

Saturday, January 21, 2012

I WISH solving any problem was easy. If it were easy as A,B and C we won't have much of a problem at all! We would look at things once or twice and voila, problem solved!

This article was late because of a problem that needed really serious addressing. You could even say it was a matter of life or death--a tightrope act on a very thin line. The unique thing about the whole situation was that it was not even I who had the problem. Somebody direly needed a willing listener and shoulder to cry on and today, that person providing the support was me.

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I have had experience being the go-to person when my friends had problems in the past and as years passed and our ages piled on top of each other, the issues had become more complicated. The once known tears for a crush has suddenly turned into heartbreak due to the end of a relationship or worse, a marriage. That's life. We knew that when we get older, it does not only mean that we won't have to go to school anymore. That would be too easy. Something's gotta give right? Well now. Here we are amidst life's complications!

I cannot help but think about the families in crises and be thankful that Filipinos are generally family-centered. With all the challenges that come with life today, you surely will need someone that you can depend on. It is a good thing that our culture is nurturing and that we seem to be genetically wired to support each other. In most cases we can only do so much and it is entirely up to the person to decide which way the cookie crumbles but in many instances, a good support group often saves a life.

Which brings me to another point.

I know sometimes it gets too tiring to be there for someone, especially, when you have always been there for that person. The issues may have been playing over and over like a broken record that you wish that it would break. I guess it is okay to step away for a while to 'see' other things that are less

stressful but I do hope we never forget to check how everything is once in a while so that we know when it's time to step up the plate again.

In the past, we hardly hear about suicides in our country. It just used to be something foreign. But now, it is alarming to hear about these things in the news, more so when children or teenagers are involved.

Is this an influence of western culture? Where do they get these ideas? Has the Filipino family become too modernized in its ways that even the support systems have become lax so that today's children can have their space to grow and learns fed for themselves just like their first world counter parts? Are we doing something wrong or is this really just how things are?

I am scared that one day I will open the television and find that someone has just reportedly open-fired on a bunch of unknowing people in a school some place in the archipelago. I wouldn't know how the whole country can ever recover from that shock. I hope it never happens.

Friend once told me that if I wanted a problem solved, I should learn to become less emotional about it and just try to solve like a math equation. Well, I was never that good in Math but still, I had the sense of taking his advice to heart and tried being less melodramatic.

It worked.

Look, I know that it is difficult not to attach feelings to a problem especially when they are yours. But do try to be less heart and more head when it comes to problem solving. It pays to be objective about the whole thing. Analyze the problem without the tears, anger or worry. Pretend for a while that it's just like many problems in school. Take it apart the way you would a puzzle so you could figure ways to put it back together. Think about the good things that can come out of the bad situation.. Try not to get stuck with the dark evil things that make it even more impossible for you to do something worthwhile. It pays to have faith and to have someone to trust whether they are actual people or a higher being that you believe in.

We all have to be grown up about certain things when it is required of us to be that way. We all have our ways of approaching things. If at first we do not succeed, it is not a reason for us to give up.

Nothing is really impossible. You fail, because you stop trying. I know they are cliché but at some point, it really is true. How else will you know if you succeeded when you stop trying? Funny though it may sound, but there is actual truth in it. We should to also forget that there little miracles that happen every day.

We normally do not appreciate them nor notice them but during our darkest times, to find the time to discover them and appreciate them helps you make it through. It makes you realize that there really is treasure in the littlest of things. So, find that. You can begin there if you want. Just don't lose hope. And faith. And use your support systems! Don't be afraid to reach out for help when you need it or. Extend help when someone clearly needs it from you.

What goes around comes around, you know. So pay attention.

Have a great Sunday everyone! ;)