Covington: Biltong

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

WHERE to start? Dead celebrity worship? Foreigners behaving badly? The impeachment circ... sorry, the impeachment trial? Or how about this headline on Wednesday -- "Kenyan nationals welcome at Araw ng Dabaw marathon?"

Great news. But please, please, someone ask them not to bring any biltong with them. The stuff itself isn't on the protected species list but the antelope from which it was sliced and dried probably is and you know what'll happen. "Environmentally concerned citizens" will spring from the earth, there'll be another tantrum down at the city hall, and we'll hear various executives and honorables baying for blood.

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Mind you, it's gone very quiet on that topic, hasn't it? Are the much reviled missionaries still docked down there at Sta. Ana wharf? Or did they get the big elbow? And was that flip-flopping sound from the SP all and sundry realizing that perhaps it wasn't such a good move - think negative pogi points - to howl with the mob?

Speaking of protected species, on Friday there was a wonderful coming together of TV programs. ABS-CBN was running an item about the Montfort bat cave over on Samal. How this year was to be the Year of the Bat highlighting a "misunderstood species" and so on while -- click – the GMA news channel was showing us in graphic detail how to trap fruit bats and prepare a tasty adobo which in parts of Leyte is quite popular. Yum, yum. No, I'm not going to speculate on the various shades of the phrase "protected species."

Dead celebrity worship now and Wednesdays’ editorial -- The hypocrisy of death -- was right on the nail. I happened to chance upon two shows glorifying the late Whitney Houston; first the American 'Insider' oozing so much sincerity it started to leak from the front of my TV but then this is the same crew who announced that 'the whole world is stunned by the news of Amy Winehouse's death' and how much of the world, I wondered, had to ask Google who Amy Winehouse was?

The second was a local show, a clutch of Filipina 'divas' supposedly 'singing' their respects. There was a whole lot of shrieking going on, screeching, yowling, but not a lot of singing.

This crowd seemed to think that singing is all about opening the mouth, hitting a high note and holding it for as long as possible. Where's the melody of the song? The words, the phrasing, Julie London could sing. Shirley Bassey, Streisand. Not this bunch of screamers.

Lastly lastly and you know you're getting old when you don't recognize any of the Grammy winners.