It’s not only a show of force

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By Gingging Avellanosa-Valle

Bahin sang Bubay

Friday, February 8, 2013

WHEN it comes to creativity, women never really run out of ways to do things. It’s good to know that more and more among our kabaro are finally taking upon themselves to be heard, to participate in activities that matter most to our protection and humanity’s survival.

We know that men “will always be men”, meaning, because of the bad influences in our society, patriarchy is here to stay, and the “opposite sex” will always have the tendency to think highly of themselves. I know we cannot generalize, as more and more laudable men have come to recognize the importance of women’s participation in all undertakings especially when it comes to pursuing genuine peace and development.

Still, it is sad to see that there are still quite a lot of so-called men in authority who think otherwise, who think that women can do nothing beyond the confines of the family, or beyond giving sexual pleasure to them whenever they want it. I must admit I hate the feeling of disdain that I could not contain whenever I see these kinds of people in our society, men who obviously gloat on women’s discomfiture, some lustily feasting on women’s bodies uncaring if they are seen or heard in public.

Although admittedly, I would also feel some kind of contempt for women who also act as if the world is their lounging area, as some women flaunt their “wares”, wearing skimpy clothing that left nothing to the imagination, women who are out to taunt the weaklings among the “opposite sex”, especially those who possess nothing between their ears. All because society so dictates. Biologically they say, males did not have to be coaxed too hard because they easily give in to their libido, especially when the media-construct concept of “beauty” is at play as always.

Young people are more aware of it, and most often, they just let the structures in society dictate on them. And this is what makes me feel bad about these kids. They are perpetually getting confused over whom to listen to and believe in. Perhaps this is one reason why oftentimes, they would rather not speak out their minds in class when the teacher asks them about their opinions. It could be that the values that their mentors are trying to instill on them are not present in their realities at home.

In other words, they cannot connect the values they learn from their teachers to their own reality. It is alien to them, for example, to be talking about respect if in the confines of their home there is battering and verbal abuse that happen between their parents. They do could not visualize what loyalty is because their own reality speaks of infidelity between their parents, their supposed “role” models.

That is why it really helps to teach them the prayer of peace by St. Francis as I often do, part of which states: “...where there is hatred, let me sow love, where there is injury, pardon, where there is doubt, faith, where there is despair, hope, where there is darkness, light, where there is sadness joy...” asking the Divinity to “...grant (me) the serenity to accept the things (I) cannot change, the courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Most of my students have can now pray it with meaning.

This year’s coming together of women during Valentine ’s Day dubbed as “One Billion Rising” is not only for show, because it is an expression of women’s faith in themselves. God has gifted humanity with nurturing hands and loving hearts to continue humankind, maybe because without women, there is no humanity to speak of.

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on February 09, 2013.

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