The bad ‘us’-A A +A
Saturday, September 7, 2013
THE past few weeks has had me distracted. There are many new things that sort of overtook the old ones. Of course I was not aware that some of my usual “good” habits have fallen between the cracks, but after a while one gets the feeling that something not right is definitely up! The lapses somehow slowly got the better of me and so, one day, I found myself in discontent about how things have become.
What the hell happened??
All I can say is, there are times when you should learn to slow down and not be too busy. Yes, it is a good thing to get a lot of things done in lighting speed but sometimes, you end up losing more that you gain. I have talked about spending time with the family last week and how it is important to always touch base so that you never lose your sense of ‘old’ self. Being with family keeps us grounded and so I can never stress it enough to tell you that seriously, you should always have the quality time to spend with them.
When you start noticing that, alas, too many things around you have become unnoticed, it is time to pay attention! More often than not, when you find yourself in this predicament, you realize that you have somehow morphed into a lesser being, either unhappy, stressed and/or alienated from some (or most or all) of the things that used to be “you.” Somehow you have suddenly become a part-stranger that you hardly understand what the heck is wrong with you!
Honestly, it is a good thing to be able to identify that you have indeed gone through this unwelcomed transition. Don’t we all have similar experiences that led us to realize that somehow, and quite dismally, we have become an awful version of ourselves? We know that we need to do something fast before we reach that point of no return or else! And yet, despite of this discovery we put off correcting these mistakes for one reason or another! The real problem begins because we have become quite comfortable with the new, bad “us” that it will take a lot of effort just to undo everything that’s been done!
Hmm, exactly my predicament! Yup. That feeling of BLAH just hung over me like a plague waiting to happen! It felt uncomfortable even when you try your darnest to go on like nothing is wrong. But, it ate me silly. Ugh.
After a week of uncertainty and ill feelings, I finally had the guts to disengage from everything and just reflect. One can really take so much of the negative vibes, right? Something has to give and I decided somewhere along the way that I have had enough of the wallowing and angst that was making me feel miserable. I needed to take charge of things, rather than keep on letting things just happen. It has taken the whole week to just take the first step towards reclaiming lost ground. We all have these moments when we lose control over factors that we normally got covered. Yeah, it's awful... but it happens. We have to accept it as it is then move on.
Easier said than done. But still, we try.
It is a painstaking process that needs to run its course. If not for anything else, at least it needs to be done for one's peace of mind. Who wants to go around feeling ambivalent about things? We really just need to take the first step towards feeling better again about ourselves. We need to make an effort to regain what we have lost and fix what has come undone while we are still able to do it.
Spend time with yourself. Yes. SPEND. TIME. WITH. YOURSELF. We always talk about spending quality time with the significant people in our lives, but what about spending quality time with yourself? We always seem to put the interest and welfare of others before our own, failing to give time for ourselves. If you continuously ignore this, you will be dealing with discontent and a flurry of regrets that seem to come out of nowhere. Do not get too lost in the blur of work, goal-achieving and all those things that 'steal' precious "me" time integral in keeping the balance between career and personal life. Taking a step back to have the space to reexamine everything from a distance just might be what you need to come up with a plan to regain the good things that are now missing. As far as
I am concerned, there is always a need for disengagement from one's current life style. I say this because we all know that our life's paces change according to how we are in the context of the universe. We can linger too long in certain phases forget too caught up in certain aspects of it that we unknowingly neglect the other facets of live that need living. When we make time for ourselves and disengage from the rest of the world, it puts everything back in a healthy balance, it puts all things in its proper place again.
Take the first step. Yes. Do something about it. Now. Do not have lofty expectations so as not to set yourself up for possible major disappointments. Baby steps are a safe way to go. Needless to say, just planning about doing it does not count. DO IT. You will be quite surprised how being able to start can make you feel really good. I am still way off tangent where my unmindfulness has taken me but I still derive joy from the fact that I had made the decision to take action. My being able to regain some sense of control has made me realize that I can do something to make myself feel better.
It is an empowering feeling to know that when you choose to take action, sometimes, the benefits are instantaneous. It really just encourages you to become more hopeful again, that things will be okay again soon. It will give you that warm, fuzzy feeling that will launch you out into the world refreshed and with a renewed sense of self- assurance that all previous efforts have not been lost in vain. It conquers the bad "us" that made us quite unhappy and distressed. Being able to reconnect with yourself replenishes the dwindling resources of excitement and wonderment that makes life more fun to experience. Single-handedly pulling yourself out of a dark, abysmal uncertainty is most certainly, a bad-ass accomplishment!! Keep at it!!
Happy Sunday!! :)
Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on September 08, 2013.