Wide awake-A A +A
Saturday, September 14, 2013
IT IS 3 a.m. of Saturday. Yes. I am still up and very much so! I am not sure if I should attribute my being awake to the fact that I was able to nap for about two hours yesterday afternoon or to the 3 cups of coffee that I drank throughout the day. Well, whether it was one or the other or more likely both, I am wide awake and I am starting to get a headache from trying to go to sleep!
You could say that this hypervigilance at this ungodly hour may also be directly related to the fact that I am actually a nocturnal person. I remember being asked early this week what nocturnal animal would I want to be if I had the choice of being one. Hmmm.
“Owl,” I said without batting my eyelashes.
“I would rather be a cat,” said my friend Pros.
“Why didn’t I think of that??”
Errrr. Are cats nocturnal? All I know is that cats sometimes keep me up all night due to their loud caterwauling. Does that qualify them as nocturnal? Geez.
Then I thought: “Can I be a vampire?” Haha. “Vampires are people, not animals. And they’re make-believe. Or are they? Halaaaaaa..”
I am laughing at myself now for being silly. I guess being up this late does do something to your brain. Mine is just trailing off and running away from reason. Just because.
I am really thinking about what constructive, inspiring, encouraging think to write about for today but all I want to do is just talk about what comes first to mind. My thoughts the past week has been too structured that I have had no time to just play ‘word salad’ and relax.
You know, I actually allot some idle time for myself. When I indulge in doing nothing I just, well, go with the flow and do nothing! There is something zen-like about staring into nothingness, mind blank, letting the silence engulf you. Most of the time we want to live life to the fullest, to chase down dreams and just go, go, go! I have moments when I disengage from all those and just exist.
To live in that moment and not think about that past and the future. To just be there, still, and allowing the world to just go past you. Again most days, doing so would be wasting time and opportunity but to me, letting go of the daily routines allows me a sense of control over things that I can never really control; to turn things in my favor like time and destiny at least once in awhile. It also gives you that sense of validation that you are much more capable of conjuring your life’s balance when you take time for it and put your heart into it too..
Now my eyes are starting to get heavy. Sleepy. Well, almost. What if I drink another cup of coffee? I snickered. If I took another cup of coffee, it would make me diurnal, nocturnal and crepuscular! Much as I would love to maximize my life to the fullest, I need to rest. We all do.
Now why would I want to be an owl again??
I can feel somnolence coming. Do you ever get that feeling of suspended animation when you stay up all night? That weird feeling that the world around you is slowing down and suddenly you can feel and hear your heart beating, I like that. Doesn’t that dream-like state between awake and asleep just feel awesome? These are the times when thoughts seem to run by your head with clarity, much like pictures flashing right before your eyes. It seems like the process proceeds in such a way that you are able to closely examine every aspect of it, like in slow motion. This is the reason why I like evenings and late nights. The added insight is clearly a plus!
So, why owl? I had to Google owls. A lot of new information now. Without the need to elaborate that much, I like how they look and that they are associated with intelligence, right? Well, apparently owls are placed surprisingly down the bird intelligence scale. Awww. BUT they do get plus plus points for their sharp senses. They have excellent vision and hearing! They are mostly solitary and nocturnal..I am single and an evening person. Ohh, parallel lives. Haha. Actually I am more crepuscular--I like and usually am wide awake during the twilight hours.
Which brings me back to the vampires. Hahaha. I am just KIDDING.
You might wonder where I’m going with this. I have no idea, either. Week in, week out, I have based my articles on m prevailing thoughts and experiences in the six days that preceeded Sunday. I just thought that maybe it would be fun just to wing it, see what happens, see where my thoughts lead me.
Doesn’t it feel good to think without taking everything in mindful consideration? to indulge yourself in free association, to blurt out word salads and still, in the end, discover that there is a message that makes you understand yourself and your situation more? Well, that’s kinda what this article’s vibe is for me right now. Sometimes when you are wide awake at night, indulge in a bit of reflection. Pay attention to passing thoughts and do not let them just pass you by. There is something to be learned in them too and usually it will take you but surprise. I just realize that sometimes at out of nothings, some big things pop up. The sheer nature of these realizations being unexpected makes it awesome!
Happy Sunday! :)
Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on September 15, 2013.