Learning to love yourself-A A +A
Saturday, October 12, 2013
I HAVE a bad case of the flu. It started last Wednesday and I still have it now. I have not been this sick for a long time and I tell you, the high fever and really awful joint pains really get me down. As if these were not enough "punishment" for being on the go all the time, my asthma and allergies came and kept me company too! Argh!
I am so lucky! Being sick just brings about a lot of spine-tingling memories that I needed to make sure I was not going to end in the hospital again. So these past few days, I’ve become the walking medicine cabinet again. Yup! I have all the medications to control all my symptoms!
I spent most of my sick days in bed miserable and just letting that ugly feeling of infirmity come over me. Whew. It has been quite a while since I have been this sick. I feel like that I had just survived by being run over by a train! Walking feels like carrying a ton of bricks on my shoulders! My muscles really hurt and my joints are even worse! Needless to say, typing this article is a “labor” of love. Ouch!
At this point, I know that there are more people in worse sick-tuations than I am. I should be thankful that my illnesses have actually "calmed" down. But then again, my concern for my well-being stems from the fact that I am sick. And well, you need to take care of yourself! I cannot help but remember my views about having problems; that problems, big or small will matter and bother you silly mainly because they are your problems.
Being affected by such grim situations is not being self-centered, it is just that they hit closest to home because they are happening to you.
In the past, I would really ignore how awful I felt when I was sick. Sure I would take my medications but only when things have gotten worse. This is really bad practice because it has often ended with me in the Emergency Room or worse, admitted again (!) to the hospital. Sure, i have been able to bounce back from all of it but I cannot help but think that if I had taken care of myself on the onset, I would probably not have ended up where I was!
"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all."
This line has always bothered me. For years and years and years! Whitney Houston, singing it over and over again in the radio, did not help. I used to think how stupid it was for anyone to actually say something like this and even make it into a song that has gained iconic proportions! Ugh! I was hugely affected by this than I even care to admit! Isn't it a given for one to love thy self? Duh!
Apparently, I was wrong. And I learned this as my life continued to unfold. As far as I was concerned, it seemed like a no-brainer to love yourself above anyone and anything in this world BUT in truth was not. Not at least for me.
We do have the tendency to put the people we love first before we attend to our own well-being. We seemed to be always on the lookout for their welfare while our own takes the backseat. We got them covered, but who has our backs? I say this because there have been moments when I have felt alone and I felt that I could not reach out to anyone mainly because I know that the significant people in my life have their own issues to deal with, too. And then, when I am wallowing in sadness and regret (or illness hehe), I find myself regrettably consumed by remorse that I had not taken care of myself at all. Errrr.
Really loving one's self is difficult with all the stereotypical terms that may come with it. I have two words in mind right now. Narcissistic and well, selfish. I, for one, do not think that it is okay to be a bit narcissistic, as long as it is not pathological! I do not think there is anything wrong with putting your interests ahead of anyone’s. In a way, it is self-preservation no matter how selfish it may sound.
Being selfless is such an attractive trait that we look at people who are altruistic with much admiration and regard. It is indeed a commendable quality but then I think that to be a person for others, you must heed to what you need for yourself first. It is just like the airplane reminders that you have to put your seatbelt and oxygen mask first before helping others. Seriously, we have to look after ourselves first to be of real service to others. Otherwise, there is tendency to feel that you have missed out on something.
Learning to love yourself IS the greatest love all and it is not easy to do. We can say it like we mean it but do we? Are we really loving ourselves for what we are or do we love ourselves the way others want us to be?
We have to love ourselves the best way we can and until the love for self runneth over. I have learned this and I am still learning to do it. We have to learn ourselves so much that the feeling just overflows from within. Only then can you truly love others. Happy Sunday Everyone!
Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on October 13, 2013.