Funny Signs

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By Andy Uyboco

Freethinking Me

Friday, December 13, 2013

IN our country, English is a borrowed language, and it is often evident in the signs we see around us. I have compiled a short list of funny signs that I have seen around the city and other parts of the country. Enjoy and have fun.

1) Outside a hotel: Wanted front desk (female). Apply Inside.

2) Store sign: Junmar’s Antiques - We make antiques while you wait.

3) On a kalesa: Horse Power - Four Feet Drive.

4) On a tow truck: Street Hooker.

5) At a restaurant: Wanted - Boy Waitress. Applied now at Aling Manang’s itiry.

6) In a menu: Hamen Egg, Hamen Chiz, Hamen Eggen Chiz

7) At a furniture shop: Setting here is not allowed (Bawal umupo dito).

8) At a fruit stand: Saging P30 (Banana Flavor).

9) At a gate: Entrance Only. Do Not Enter.

10) On a highway: Don’t stick your elbow out too far. It might go home in another car.

11) Outside a store: Win a free ride in a police car just by shoplifting in this store.

12) At a construction site: Hard Hot Area.

13) Graffiti: Vandalism is an art but when you caught, it’s a crime.

14) At a sari-sari store: We load Smart, Glove, Sun.

15) Store Name: Holy House of Drugs.

16) Outside a bar: Notice - Our bar is presently not open because it is closed.

17) Store Name: Kosh Kosh Ayosh Laundry Shop.

18) Along EDSA: Bawal Tumawid - May Namatay Na Dito.

19) On a road: Road is temporarily closed for erection.

20) Store sign: Accept order - Retiner (Bres sa ngipon).

21) At a repair shop: We Repiar - Reprigeretor, Electrect Pan, Oben Tooster, Plat Iron

22) In Divisoria: Sale - Bed Cover and Bed Shit.

23) Store sign: Put A Henna Mo Tattoo.

24) At a resort: Our guest please do not inter if you wet body with dress and short to this way left side and right side go to bathroom.

25) At a resort: Only 3 piece swimsuits allowed - hat, sunglasses, sandals.

26) On a door: Caution Door Opens.

27) At a dormitory: Please try to do your laundry like a daytime, not a midnite because the laundry make too much noise at nite.

28) At a school: School Free Drug Zone Enforced.

29) Sign at PICC toilet: Report leaking faucets immediately (A faucet leak saves 15 gals. a day).

30) At an appliance store: Nova DVD component with sub-wooper.

Woop! Woop!


Andy Uyboco is a businessman by profession and an educator by obsession. You may email him at View previous articles at

Published in the Sun.Star Davao newspaper on December 13, 2013.


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