THIS coming December 7, my friend and fellow-columnist Kelvin Lee will be tying the nuptial knot. He invited me to attend the wedding but since it will be held in Manila, I cannot do so due to some commitments here and there.

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But I promised to him (through text) that I will write a piece dedicated to the day he will finally say goodbye to his bachelor days. I really have a hard time what to write about but after pondering for two days, I came up with this:
Marriage was divinely established in the Garden of Eden by our creator Himself. Genesis 2:24 stated, "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

In a way, marriage is a union of three beings: God, man and woman. If only man and woman exist, the marriage is bound to fail. But add God to the relationship and it will lead to a blissful, lasting marriage.

As a couple, these should be their vows together: "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you will stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

Where you die I will die and there I will be buried" (Ruth 1:16-17).

Yes, there are marriages made in heaven. My parents are married for more than half a century now and their marriage is still strong as ever. Of course, they are always ups and downs but they have stayed together.
The secret of their marriage can be found in the Holy Bible.

"Wives," Saint Paul urges, "submit to your husbands." Not just in one instances or some occasions, but "wives should submit to their husbands in everything" (Ephesians 5:24).

In like manner, husbands should love their wives. "Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it" (Ephesians 5:28-29).

Husbands and wives are just like other people. They will face trials, troubles, and temptations. All these would happen to test their love for each other. Gary and Barbara Rosberg, authors of Serving Love, suggest that no matter what happens, the couple must stay together.

These should be their words together: "If things get better for us, I will love you. If things get worse, I will love you. If we get rich beyond our wildest dreams, I will love you. If we grow poorer and don't own much, I will love you. If you get sick, I will love you. If you remain healthy, I will love you." Till death do us part!

Should there be conflict, don't let anger and madness to maneuver each of you. Marriage counselors Dr. James and Shirley Dobson shares six steps for handling conflict. Change what can be altered. Explain what can be understood. Teach what can be learned. Revised what can be improved.

Negotiate what is open to compromise. Accept the rest.

A poet penned these words of wisdom: "To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it. Whenever you're right, shut up!" Yes, as easy as that!
Some years ago, I came across a Beatitudes for Married Couples. Allow me to share them with you:

"Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate, considerate and loving after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.

"Blessed are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous to one another as they are to their friends.

"Blessed are they who have a sense of humor, for this attribute will be a handy shock absorber.

"Blessed are the married couples who abstain from alcoholic beverages.

"Blessed are they who love their mates more than any other person in the world, and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vow of a lifetime of fidelity and mutual helpfulness to each other.

"Blessed are they who remember to thank God for their food before they partake of it, and who set aside some time each day for the reading of the Bible and prayer.

"Blessed are they who attain parenthood, for children are a heritage of the Lord.

"Blessed are those mates who never speak loudly to each other and who make their home a place 'where seldom is heard a discouraging word.'

"Blessed are the husband and wife who faithfully attend the worship service of the church.

"Blessed are the husband and wife who can work out their problems of adjustment without interference from parents, siblings, and relatives.

"Blessed is the couple who have a complete understanding about financial matters and who have worked out perfect partnership with all the money under control of both."

There are several reasons why a person gets married. Unknown to many, happily (I have italicized this for emphasis!) married people live longer than do the unmarried or singles. According to George Crane, one essential reason for this is that married couple can talk out their inner tensions to each other, so their blood pressure goes down.

Besides, they can relax more by realizing they have a helping hand to come to their rescue if they are sick, so they suffer less anxiety. As the marriage vows state, "In health or in sickness?"

For comments, write me at henrytacio@gmail.com

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(December 5, 2008 issue)
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