Billy breaks silence on break up with Nikki-A A +A
Monday, July 29, 2013
TELEVISION host Billy Crawford has finally broken his silence about the end of his four-year romance with singer Nikki Gil.
In an emotional interview on The Buzz last Sunday, the "It's Showtime" host told the King of Talk Boy Abunda that he was "lost and confused."
"I'm very lost. Very confused. Walang kinalaman si Nikki. It all boils down to me. It's a undescribable feeling, it's all like all these negativity, confusion and the sadness, the hurt, Nikki has been anything but good to me," he said.
"She is a dream come true, when it comes to finding the right one. But it's hard to find the right one kung ikaw mismo you are not right. And, it's been a while I think. I don’t know who to blame," he added.
Billy said that he's battling himself for some time now.
"Lahat ng tao kasi nakikita nila ako (na) masayahin, matulungin. I try to do everything that I can for everyone to be happy specially the people around me, the people that I love. And I forgot what makes me happy. I forgot who I am. I don't know what I'm doing and all I know what to do is to work," he said.
The singer said that in his 26 years, and during his entire career in the entertainment industry, this is the first time that he felt lost and confused.
He said it's very easy to keep a happy facade but at the end of the day, he's facing the horror alone.
"I tend to go home by myself. It's so simple kasi to go around with friends and to enjoy and forget about the problems, whatever you're going through, specially kung may naririnig kang problema na pinagdadaanan ng mga kaibigan mo. Sobrang daling makalimutan kung ano yung root, ano yung problema Nakalimutan ko, ako e. I'm the one who's completely lost and I'm searching," he added.
He said that during his darkest hours, Nikki was behind him. She fought hard to save the four-year relationship, but it was Billy who let go.
"I've done some things in my life that I regret and she supported me. She understood. She was there. She fought. I tried. But she really stuck it out I have to admit. And I'm admitting this because I respect her. I just wasn't there. I wasn't myself," Billy said.
He reiterated he's the reason of the break-up and dismissed rumors that a third party was involved. He said he will always treasure the beautiful and unforgettable memories of their relationship.
"I love her. I still do. I didn't want to continue to hurt her because I became distant. And I don't want to continue to hurt her if I continue with this relationship. In the long run, hindi na kami magkakatugma. We don't see eye to eye on things. We are not on the same page," he said.
The singer will fly to the United States on August 3 to be with his parents.
Although he was hesitant to give the interview on the matter, Billy said he decided to push through with it to address all the rumors circulating in and out of show biz since last week.
He said that his only hope is to finding himself again.
"I'm going back to my family. All I could pray for is for some reason, I need to be with my mom and dad. I have to start from scratch. Where did I come from, I need to try to find what was making me happy before. Who was I and I just want to be with my family," he ended.
To recall, both singers met during the airing of "Pinoy Dream Academy." Nikki was just starting in the industry during the time while Billy just came back to Manila after his long stay in France, where he's also making a name for himself in the music scene.
Billy courted Nikki and later on decided to stay in Manila.
As of press time, Nikki remained silent on the break-up. (Sunnex)