Gueco: Serengye-Love

Saturday, July 16, 2011

ENHEARTENING us is the Korean phrase "Serengye" (I Love You).

Today, dear friends, let us focus our lenses on the subject of love, particularly, within relationships.

Have something to report? Tell us in text, photos or videos.

Synchronously, I met an exemplary author, Dr. Gary Chapman, who wrote this par excellence book entitled "The Five Languages of Love". It answers the questions, mysteries and enigma of our intimacy needs as human beings. These are the five love stimulants he espouses:

1. Praise

2. Quality Time
3. Service
4. Touch
5. Gifts

He expertly discussed the love language that enhances our connections based on his 30 or more years of marriage counseling. Dr. Chapman believes you and I can learn to fill up the love tank of our spouse, mate and/or partner.

Together, let us walk on the footway leading to the house of love.

Praise

The welcome sign on its door reveals the first love language - praise. In a devoted relationship, two persons who respect, esteem and honor each other constantly give words of appreciation, approval and affirmation to their partners. Take the case of Joe and Sandra who have been married for 15 years. When Dr. Chapman interviewed them, he asked Joe what he valued in their union. Joe stroked his chin, cleared his throat and spoke of Sandy's loving expressions.

"You are a good husband, Joe. You take good care of me and our four kids. You are my source of inspiration."

This praise language from Sandy echoed like a cheering squad exalting the ears of Joe. He felt his self-esteem and confidence rising like a balloon. Thereto, he experienced his love tank being supplied with oxygen via these supportive statements.

Yes, praise him or her and keep on filling up your beloved needs. This is the best way to keep 'doctor separation' away from our doors!

Quality Time

Now, as we enter the sala in this house of love, we hear this conversation about quality time. It is now Sandy, wife of Joe, who speaks about her want.

"Quality time is what I expect Joe to give me. Early in our marriage, we experienced difficulties in adjusting with each other. Then I told him that my wish was for him to quietly sit with me at the end of the day, exchange thoughts and/or listen to me with focused attention at least for 15 minutes.

Thus, when Joe realized that quality time is what I hanker for, he poured out his devotion by answering this request. Thereafter we would sit on the sofa and talk about the high and/or low points of our day."

Service

Upon reaching the dining room in the house of love, I understood how an act of service is the opening gateway to love.

Cooking a meal, preparing the table, washing the dishes, cleaning the room and other chores are the manifestation of this language. Acts of service are what we can do to warm the heart of a partner. Sometimes, like my best friend Sophiam, housework is not her cup of tea, but in order to please her partner, she does them. She explains it this way.

"This is the nectar I serve in our relationship. Since I realized my partner wants to see a neat environment, I try to respond to this request. My act of service is my soft whisper of 'I love you.' "

Touch

Conversely, the power of physical touch is what Sophiam values in her relationship. Looking askance towards the bedroom's direction, she asserted this viewpoint.

"Yes, I believe in the physicality of our relationship. Intimate acts for me include embraces, hugs and kisses. I just love it when my partner holds my hand, gives me a back rub or simply musses my hair. What enjoyment we derive from our physical tenderness!"

Gifts

My last stop in this abode of love is the garden. Therein I see red bougainvilleas, purplish vandas and pink roses.

Voila! I remember my work associate Emma. She often narrated to me how at times she would pick up an armful of roses, lovingly arranges them into a bouquet and gives this to her mate. In other instances, while shopping at the supermarket, she would buy her partner's favorite Aspen cologne to let him know she cares for him.

The value of gift giving is a mode of love our partners can appreciate. If you believe your spouse prefers gifts even inexpensive ones, then, follow her/his language of love to allow the scent of happiness to waft in your home.

Forevermore, you and I can spread "I LOVE YOU" or Serengye.