Monz’s magic pills; A husband for Trina-A A +A
By Ram Mercado
Sunday, March 10, 2013
THE most exciting contest for board members (SP) is that of the third district.
Five aspirants, all close allies of Governor Pineda are vying for the three slots in the elections.
“You must find it very difficult to decide who among your loyalists will get support?” I asked Nanay Baby.
“It’s the candidate’s destiny if he/she wins or loses,” she replied. “But the ones who have a track record of service, who have the sympathy of the people, and who will best attract the voters deserve to win.”
Her statement answers the concern of our kabalen on whom the Gov will “bless” among the five aspirants. These are incumbent BM Monz Laus, BM Trina Dizon, Mexico mayor Teddy Tumang, Dinan Labung and Rosve Henson, former board members.
Gossip centers in San Fernando are not talking about the three prospective winners among the five, but of the two who will not make it. I have my own guess but my lips are sealed. Ask food lover Macky Pangan, a one-man poll survey operative.
I have not asked Nanay about the reelection chances of the pretty BM Trina Dizon as it would place the Gov on the spot. I said that Trina has been serving the Gov faithfully and dutifully for nearly three years, and has sacrificed her personal happiness while acting the role of “sagala” to Mrs. Pineda.
“I have learned that because of your motherly concern for this bachelor girl, you will even go out of your way to find her a husband,” I said. I am reminded of former FL Imelda Marcos who acted as fairy godmother to her husband’s favorite officials who were bachelors. She matched the aging single men with her Blue Ladies and her matron friends.
Nanay suppressed a light laughter, shifted on her seat while looking at the demure and kindly bachelor girl from barangay Pangatlan in Mexico.
“Nung paintun ye pung asawa i Trina, Ma’am,” I added, “karakal a baintau kareng PNP tamu. Siguro po, agyang police captain yamu ene garabiado.”
Nanay looked at me and deadpanned: “Ah! eh pwede ing pulis o sundalus ya ing apangasawa na. Pota sagmitan de king baryu na, hehehe.”
Of course I know Trina’s village as a former dissident lair in my younger days. But that was before Dong Gonzales shared the place with his ubiquitous community projects and brought PGMA, the peacemaker, in that neighborhood.
With the entry of two veteran politicians viz. former BM Dinan and former BM Rosve “Kambilan” Henson, the race for the three BM seats had become stiff and close. You cannot underestimate the drawing power, also, of Mayor Teddy who can pull the rabbit off the hat.
BM Monz who inherited the political machine of the late BM Don Pinong, has kept diligent and intimate liaison with the old man’s network of barangay officials. She nurtures their loyalty by giving them precious miracle pills to rekindle nuptial bliss, I was told. Probably this was in keeping with the Capitols’s wellness program for senior citizens.
BM Monz’s unique and highly effective campaign strategy makes her a formidable rival. Does she keep supplies of male energizer pills? I don’t know, but her handbag is not lacking in sample drugs. For instance, in one night party at Clark, she mistook me for an aging barangay tanod and handed me a sachet of virility pills.
A favorite story at the Capitol was about an honorable member of the august body who chanced upon Monz’s wayward expensive handbag at the Session Hall. Seeing the famous vitality pills inside the bag left open, he filched a number.
Several weeks later His Honor was allegedly stricken with a speech disorder. He suddenly suffered from a slurring stutter (nautal). A rumor spread that the stuttering was due either to overexcitement or overdose. Did Monz deliberately leave her handbag open for some naughty colleagues to filch or was it left there accidentally?
Seeing Nanay Baby on a jolly mood, I asked her, “Tutu ya pu ing istorya?” She cupped her hand and whispered “Sasabian da meutal ya kanu,” she chuckled.
The latest recipient of the magic pills (silver-wrapped in a small box like in a wedding ring) was former BCDA director and No.1 councilor-to-be Max Sangil. As you know Max is eloquent with a loud stentorian voice. He speaks in basso profundo, like the late Sen. Blas Ople. This Thursday I will have coffee with our macho man, and will monitor him especially if he suddenly stutters or slurs in his usual perorations.
Published in the Sun.Star Pampanga newspaper on March 11, 2013.