Clara Cabaero: I was a mother!

Mayette Tabada: Working Mom

Liberty Pinili: Single motherhood

Single motherhood

Liberty A. Pinili is LAP to many of her friends. She is small but terrible. Her boyish cut is her signature and environment is her passion. She shares her life and experience as a single mother. What is a mother? Someone who doesn't just tell her child what to do but how to do it. Someone who knows when to stand back and let her child be, which includes allowing the kid to make mistakes. Easier said, true. But like our kids, we are a work in progress.

What is motherhood?
A friend's mother once told me that motherhood is like flying a kite: don't grip the string to tight, let go when there's a good wind, pull whenever necessary.

What were your pains as a mother? What do you consider as the greatest achievement as a mother?
Nothing beats childbirth in the pain category. But there are non-physical pain, such as, seeing your child disappointed or sick. I am always amazed that despite my shortcomings, and my temper, I have a son who is sensitive and respectful.

How many children do you? (their ages and professions)
One, and he's still in grade school.

How was it raising him?
Difficult, can be worse at times. But challenging. I always wonder what would have happened if I had a daughter. But then I assure myself that my child would not suffer the same menstrual and childbirth pains I went through.

What was your unforgettable experience as a mother?
I believe there's going to be more unforgettable experiences to come. But I am always deeply touched when he shows special attention to me: making me a glass of juice or telling me he left food for me.

Do you think you have done enough for your child?
No. I believe I can and should do more.

What is the greatest treasure that you can leave behind for your children? Values, ( note I didn't say morals), like: respect for elders but still be able to speak up whenever they are right; respect of another person's ownership; love for books (I hope someday); and independence How was it being a single mother and a working mother as the same time? Very difficult. I still have to learn to balance my time. My son calls up the office at past 10 p.m. (when there are no classes) and begs me to come home earlier. But I can't. I want to supervise his studies every night, but this is not possible with my schedule.

What was your coping mechanism?
I try to go out with him, just hang out in places we both like. But sometimes we don't usually agree where. He likes malls, I like to sit in a cafe and read.

What advice or message can you give to other single mothers?
I'm not in the position to give advices. I'm up to my nose as it is. But I guess for single and working moms, try to avoid that "absentee-mom" syndrome. I used to do that. I did everything my son asked or demanded from me: new toy, fastfood. I learned this made him take things for granted. I'm now trying to undo the things I did out of guilt. I'm trying to teach him that we cannot afford to have certain luxuries, like toys and mall hours, everyday. I'm still trying to teach him to do chores around the house, one way to start on that independence thing.