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Wednesday, January 08, 2003
Flavier: The parable of the bet
By Juan Flavier
THE barrio fiesta was at its peak. Villagers and visitors were consuming tuba as fast as it was served. It was getting noisier and there was decreasing regard for order and good conduct.
Every now and then, the band would march past led by the majorette twirling her baton. One could tell the marching band had circled the barrio several times from the mud splattered on their once immaculate white pants.
In front of one hut were several farmers partaking of tuba and assorted pulutan. Soon bets were being made adding to the fun of the fiesta.
A farmer called on a bet for his unusual ability. "I bet anyone the amount of twenty pesos that I can bite my right eye."
Everyone groaned as if in disbelief. One of the visitors took on the bet. "I call!" he uttered obviously under the influence of alcohol. The farmer then removed his artificial glass eye and made a motion of biting it. There was joyful clapping by the crowd at the turn of events.
"I will also bet anyone for double the amount that I can also bite my left eye."
Thinking it was impossible for the farmer to have two artificial eyes, the visitor again stood up and exclaimed. "I will take the bet!" He pulled two twenty peso bills and slammed it on the table.
Without another word, the farmer removed his false upper and lower dentures and clamped them on his left eye. Again the crowd roared with approval. Several men approached him to offer a toast as a sign of admiration for the entertaining feat.
The farmer shook the hands of the visitor as a sign of camaraderie even if that was the first time they ever met. For in a barrio fiesta, all are welcome. And the presence of a complete stranger as guest was valued.
"Tell you what," said the farmer who had just won the two bets, "our visitor is such a nice man. I will give him a chance to recoup his losses and even gain a little."
"I will bet him one hundred pesos that I can wee-wee on an empty bottle and fill it up without spilling a single drop. I will stand on the table and I shall not hold the bottle placed on it. How about that, my friend?"
"Agreed for one hundred pesos," shouted the visitor now playing to the crowd which had increased to four times the previous number. Most were cheering lustily and many were clapping at the extraordinary show of unusual bets.
The visitor pulled out a hundred peso bill and again slapped it on the table. Then to the delight of the observers, the man took an empty bottle and positioned it on top of the paper bill.
The farmer climed the table and, naturally, failed to accomplish the feat. Much of the liquid splattered on the table because of the narrow opening of the bottle. So the visitor hollered, "Yes! Yes!" The audience joined in the jubilant shoutingh.
As the farmer gamely paid the winning visitor one hundred pesos, another man seated at the far end pounded the long table in evident dismay.
"What is the matter with him? inquired the visitor momentarily dampening his elation over his victory.
The farmer explained. "Oh, don't mind him. he just lost a bet. You see, I bet him five hundred pesos that I can wee-wee on the table in front of the guests for which you will all be very happy." |
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