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Wednesday, April 16, 2003
Flavier: The parable of the smartest dog
By Juan Flavier
THE four farmers were whiling away their time in the meeting point of the town. It was a Wednesday and one of two market days assigned to the municipality. There was a festive air with barrio folks having a relaxed time after selling their produce. Most were buying their daily needs not ordinarily available in their respective barrios.
On that particular day, the center of attention focused on the four farmers with their pet dogs. Each showed off their pets with liberal annotations to prove exceptional abilities and characteristics of their domesticated animals.
The first farmer boasted for the benefit of the other three and the crowd. "The dog is a gift from my cousin in the city. It is a French dog called a poodle. I call here Fifi."
"It sure looks nice with healthy fur and well-shampooed as well," commented a bystander. "But what can it do? Otherwise it is just another dog."
"Oh, my dog is exceptionally well-trained," replied the first farmer with enthusiasm. "Why, I can actually send this dog to buy liquor. You can even indicate the kind."
"Make your dog buy a bottle of tuba!" the crowd chorused.
With that, Fifi ran to the corner store and promptly returned with a small bottle of tuba. The string on the neck of the bottle was anchored on the dog's mouth.
"Amazing!" enthused the men folk surrounding the four farmers.
The second farmer would not be outdone. He explained, "My dog is a Mexican breed. You can see it is very short in stature but unduly long. I will now send my dog named Perrito to get some pulutan (finger foods eaten with drinks)."
"Wow!" marveled the crowd.
The third farmer then spoke up. "My dog is an American dog. It is called Snoopy. I will now order it to get a plate and a glass."
Immediately, Snoopy ambled away and promptly returned with a plastic bag containing a plate and drinking glass.
The people that had grown in number were dumbstruck.
"How about you?" the second farmer asked the fourth man almost mockingly. "How smart is your skinny dog?"
"Well, my dog is a native Filipino rascal," he replied without feeling. "I call him Bantay. He is not good at getting things but excellent in doing. Okay, Bantay, do your thing!"
Bantay rose from his prone position. He pulled out the plate and the glass. With precision, he put the sitsaron on the plate then poured the tuba in the glass laid out in front. To the cheering of the crowd, Bantay ate the pulutan and drank the wine.
After that, Bantay filed for sick leave and went on vacation.
(April 16, 2003 issue)
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