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Sunday, October 12, 2003
Flavier: The parable of the old maid
By Sen. Juan Flavier
THE retired teacher was easily the most well-known old maid in the entire village. She was the epitome of prim and proper conduct. And she expected everyone else to also act in propriety.
Grown-ups were fidgety in dealing with her because, as a teacher, she felt it her continuing duty to correct their grammar and conduct. When anyone else dressed immodestly, she would be straightforward about it. Since almost everyone in the barrio had been her pupil at one time or another, she was accepted and tolerated.
The young ones would not even dare go near her house. It was considered an ordeal to talk with her. When she passed by, the little children were pulled away by their parents, for she was wont to castigate the mothers for the shabby dresses and unkempt look of the little ones.
It was no surprise to the villagers that she also registered the highest number of complaints to the barangay tanod (village peace and order officer). Her points were generally legitimate. But things that the ordinary villager would have tolerated, she never overlooked.
She literally wanted a perfect place. So she would call the attention of the barangay tanod about the racket the previous night. Or unsightly sections of the barrio.
One day, the prim and proper old maid visited the tanod to air more of her complaints. This time, it was about a farmer who passed by her house every morning on his way to the rice field.
"What seems to be the problem this time, madam?" inquired the tanod desperately trying to hide his exasperation and irritation.
"I came to bring to your attention the improper conduct of one farmer," the old maid explained with a stern countenance.
"Could you specify the offensive conduct and when it occurred?"
"Yes. Every morning, this farmer passes by my house," she replied with indignation, "and sings dirty songs as he goes by."
On another occasion, the old maid submitted a complaint against her neighbor. "This man walks around almost bare. He is always totally naked save for his briefs. I find it most offensive because I can see him in his house from my window."
"Don’t worry," assured the barangay tanod. "I will personally talk to your neighbor this instant."
The officer did as he promised and visited the old maid the following day. "He has apologized for his lack of consideration. He said he was not aware he had offended anyone. But the best part is that he has installed a curtain to obstruct the view from your window."
"I see that," the old maid replied with a curt displeasure. "But standing on this chair, I can still see him in his improper appearance."
(October 11, 2003 issue)
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