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Thursday, March 25, 2004
Flavier: The parable of the fat farmers
By Sen. Juan Flavier
THE two best friends were also the two most overweight farmers of the barrio. The bulk of food they ate was enough to feed a dozen people. It was a case of obsessive eating. When it comes to food, they were gluttons.
Being overly fat, they soon became sluggish in their work. Not only that, both noticed growing chest pains. Realizing the risk to their life, they both swore to start dieting. Unfortunately, they remained obese and their health continued to deteriorate.
So the first farmer decided to go to the city to seek medical advice for his weight problem. He stayed with some relatively well-off relatives while undergoing treatment. After just three weeks, he returned with a visible loss of poundage.
"How did you do it?" inquired his fat friend. "You look great and you are even wearing new jeans. Tell me about the miracle!"
"Well, yes, I had to buy a new set of clothes," replied the thinner farmer fresh from the city. "But it was no miracle. It was a purely scientific case of decreasing weight. The doctor prescribed two pills which I had to take before bedtime."
"Then what?" prodded his friend eagerly.
"The pills caused me to have wild dreams. In those dreams, I found myself in my own little paradise with a bevy of scantily-clad, beautiful women. All of them were chasing me. The whole night, I ran. In the morning, I would wake up sweating profusely. I probably burned a thousand calories every night. Consequently, my weight has gone down.”
"Great! I must go to your doctor to get the same treatment," said the second farmer. And to be sure he would be attended to, he even secured a recommendation letter from the mayor’s office.
As expected, the doctor prescribed similar pills. Every night, the second farmer had wild dreams. He also ran in his dream and burned off thousand of calories every night. But there was a major difference so he went back to the doctor.
"My treatment is certainly working," began the second farmer. "My weight is going down. I thank you most sincerely for the effective regimen. But, doctor, in my friend’s dreams, he was chased by sexy women. In my case, I am being chased by a horde of cannibals waving jungle bolos. How can you explain the difference?"
The doctor explained calmly, "You see, your friend was a private patient. Whereas you, sir, are being treated as a charity patient."
(March 25, 2004 issue)
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