Monday, February 25, 2008 Cayading: Parenting, a conscious commitment By Trinidad A. Cayading Parenting Pinoy
IN A recent parent conference, a mother shared this story. One day, she chanced upon her teenage daughter disclosing her problems to the nursemaid. It pained her to realize that her daughter would rather confide to the nursemaid than to her own mother.
That moment became a wake-up call for her. Since then, she made a conscious effort to find time to bond not only with this daughter, but also with all her other children as well. She vowed that from then on that none of her children would ever have to run to others for help. This was poignant because many parents may have had a similar experience. Sadly, they fail to sense what was happening. In time, they wonder how their children have grown up so distant from them. Also, it was very touching to witness to this mother's resolved to make amends after having learned a painful lesson.
Parents today need to reclaim their role and responsibility in shaping the person of their children. This is the gist of this article. It is no longer enough for parents to attend to children's physical needs and comfort. More importantly, they must participate in the lives of their children and ensure that they grow up becoming healthy and mature individuals.
This involves a conscious commitment to give priority to children in terms of time, interest and connection. By this we do not necessarily refer to quantity but quality presence. Some parents may be working in other countries but is very much meaningfully connected with their children.
Others may be living with their children everyday, but are so distant and elusive. The important thing is to be mindful that their children need them to build the foundation of self-worth, healthy sexuality, inner strength and character. If parents engage children to work towards becoming a "shelter for each other", then there are no reasons why the family should fear all these external threats.
Yes, parenting is difficult and challenging to say the very least. The reward however, is worth every effort and sacrifice. As Kahlil Gibran says: "let your bending in the Archer's hand be for gladness. For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable." Parents are the bow that sent forth the arrow. Through parents, God finds His dreams for children come true.
