Saturday, May 03, 2008 Bautista: Gout whispers By Sam Bautista Tea Leaf Reader
EVERYBODY keeps asking me: "How's your gout?" To me, that's a classic stupid question, especially when I was practically using a cane to get from point A to point B with a lot of grunts in between.
Of course, the wise guys would usually follow up this question with: "What would you like for lunch? Pinapaitan? (A deliriously sumptuous stew made from the innards of either goat or cow splashed liberally with the animal's bile. It is also a dish designed to bring out a horrendous gout attack)"
"Ha, ha, ha," is the only reply to such needling from friends and foes alike, plus the universal hand sign for scorn - you know the upraised middle finger. Truly, the millions of gout sufferers like me don't get the understanding we deserve. It's painful like heck man and everybody just can't help themselves with the verbal stabs.
Anyway, I could easily forego the "food for the gout" dishes. It's simple just don't look, don't smell, and don't even be ten meters close to any such bedeviling foods. That's the easy part of this ailment of mine.
The hard part is keeping away from the booze. Okay, the quintessential image of the media man is a cigarette smoking, hard drinking guy in blue jeans, simple tees in a camera vest with a pen dangling from an ear. Well, that's basically me and then some ... well, except for the dangling pen. So it's really a big sacrifice for me not to visit the usual haunts for my cold bottle of the amber colored elixir everybody else calls beer.
So late one night last week, I got a call from a friend just as the paper was about to laid to bed. The guy at the other end was inviting me to a hangout, and without thinking the words spewed from my mouth: "Apay painom ka (Are you treating me to drinks)?" When the answer was an unqualified "Yes," I knew something was afoot.
Heading to the place, I found myself in the company of two other people, my friend and a news source, their eyes blood shot red, the sizzling bangus half eaten on the table and the aroma of a half bottle of blue gin wafting all over the small cubicle. Oh did I forget to mention there were shot glasses on the table as well? Well, there were three, obviously the third was mine. Oh heck and my foot was raging.
It was difficult to beg off the drink (I mean really, truly as in the last ounces of self control were spent saying the words, "Next time guys.") I was also tough sitting down in the booth with both men downing glass after glass of gin. I wanted to leave them to their happy hour(s), but something kept me, the old news sense (it's something like spider sense, only it usually doesn't warn of potential problems, in fact it always gets me into trouble.) was tingling.
So despite my better judgment, I stay around. And good thing too because, the news source suddenly spouted sentence after sentence about, that's right, Manong Bong (Mandapat), the beleaguered DOTC-CAR chief.
What the news source said were 1) there was going to be a meeting in the DOTC Manila office again this time with Secretary Leandro Mendoza, Manong Bong and representatives of the van operators. What he said was it was going to be a bull session with Manong Bong. The meeting was scheduled on Monday (May 5).
The other bit of news he blathered out was a big event going to happen on May 19. It seems there may be a huge gathering of van operators and drivers at the DOTC regional office and Manong Bong will be at the hurricane's eye of it all.
Well, sticking to one's convictions can actually mean very disastrous things, and if my suspicions are right, Manong Bong could face the ax. Well, that's what I was fed during the two hours I had to literally tie my hands behind my back to keep them from drifting towards the gin bottle and shot glass.
Well, may be it is time for the so-called silent majority to start shouting to really show just what is the pulse of Baguio commuters on this very ticklish issue.
When the news source finally called it a night, I was left with my friend with secure in the knowledge I was able to survive another night of torturous alcohol abstinence and was about to head home.
Just goes to show how much I know. As soon as the news source left, my friend immediately called for a "round" of beers. Ha, ha, ha another wise guy of a friend.
(May 3, 2008 issue) Write letter to the editor. Click here.
