Sunday, May 11, 2008 Delen: Mother's Day By Annie Delen Jaded Mind
BY ALL definitions, she is indeed a very sweet woman. She was cheerful and warm. She was the consummate woman of her generation. She did all the right things. She had a flower garden in front of her house, which she zealously cultivated in the afternoons after her workday is done. She was good at cooking ... even found the time to make pineapple preserves. She managed her house like a general. Everyone had his or her own task to perform because aside from her two children, she also had a gaggle of nephews and nieces who lived with her. On top of it all, she even had the time to teach me the art of crocheting.
What has such a gentle woman got to do with a jaded human being such as I you might ask? Well, she happened to be my mother. And right off the bat, I'd tell you that whatever shortcomings (dozens of it I expect) I have right now she had nothing to do with. Sadly the Freudian Theory does not apply to me. If at all, my good side that once and a while manifest itself under proper conditions is what came from her. However if she could see me now, she'd probably ask herself, "What have I done wrong?"
For one, she was a very religious woman. When I and my most handsome brother (I have only one.) were kids, we joined the Sunday school, memorized biblical sayings and even stayed for the Sunday Mass ... the works. Staying home to simply rest and glorify God in our own ways was out of the question. Our father was a firm believer in praising the Lord in secret but encouraged us to do so within the fold of a church, which in this case was the UCCP Church in Bulanao, Tabuk City.
She was also a stickler when it comes to neatness. Not that I am a total slob but I do sometimes sleep in my work clothes especially after a particularly draining session with friends. (No illegal substances involved mind you.) This she would not have allowed. One can come home faint with exhaustion and she would still insist on a shower, change of clothes and most importantly ... a carefully brushed set of teeth before hitting the bed. In some ways, she was obsessed with cleanliness. In our house, Saturdays were officially designated as the general cleaning day. The floors had to be waxed and polished even though a good sweeping would have sufficed. The windows had to be wiped clean ... jalousies no less. This could be the very reason why I prefer bay windows; that and the fact that bay windows would allow me to observe the world beyond.
She had a lot of qualities that made me love and hate her depending on the situation. Her warmth and sweetness made me proud to be her child though the same feeling can just as easily turn into jealousy when she turns her attention to others. One could say I was a bratty kid. But she didn't give up on me. Adorable girl I wasn't. She however tried her best ... getting ruffled dresses, buying girly toys, enrolling me in gymnastics class (I lasted all of two days) and buying me a "Banduria" (I broke it in two weeks) so I can join Mrs. Espita's Rondalia Club.
In retrospect, I was not the daughter that people would've expected a charming woman like her to have. I myself wonder if I did come from her. In the darkest of my despairs, I even considered a "switch" in the hospital. Despite such self doubts, she however never made me wish I was someone else. It did not matter that the dresses she bought got passed over for the pants and shorts that her daughter favored; that the toys got relegated to the back of the toy cabinet so her daughter could go hunt spiders with the neighborhood boys and it certainly did not matter that her daughter couldn't have fallen farther from the tree. She was a mother ... and she loved unconditionally. I can not tell her this now for she is long gone but I sure can say, "Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there". "I salute you"
