Sunday, October 12, 2008 Cayading: Outside the box discipline By Trinidad A. Cayading Parenting Pinoy
AS REGULAR readers of this column know, my advice tends toward the "psychologically incorrect" end of the spectrum. As a consequence, I frequently receive stories and sharing from some parents who solved their children's behavior problems by solving outside the box.
For example, a mother recently shared with me, hoping her story would help other parents whose kids know how to use the toilet, but refuse to use it for bowel movements. When its time for a poop, her toddler would go off and hide. She narrates, "We tried every reward and punishment we could think of, but to no avail. Then, my husband suggested that we had yet to find the one thing that mattered most to our son. He said it would have to be something he loved most.
As a mother, I knew what that was, I threw his beloved Spider Man. (his favorite stuffed animation) on the top of the closet, telling him he would get it back when he started pooping in the potty, so the next time he pooped in his pants.
I felt like the cruelest mother in the world. Mind you, and sure enough, he screamed so loud and even bumped his head on the floor. But I held my ground. The next time he had what you call an 'on purpose,' I tossed his toy car (his next most favorite thing) in the closet. He screamed like he was being tortured, but he never pooped in his pants again. My husband's pretty wise, don't you think?"
On the other hand, here's another experience of a mother of a four years old child. He absolutely refuses to use the potty. She started putting him in underpants and taking him into the bathroom at regular intervals, talking up the potty, removing privileges and offering rewards. Nothing works! With the help of a friend who shared her parenting techniques in training her son when he was at that same age, she stressed that for the stubborn boy, wait a few months, then put him in training pants again and start all over patiently. Don't punish, but use stickers or simple rewards for each success. Eventually he'll be trained, but some children do take longer. It really works!
Well, thanks to these moms for these great and inspiring stories of thinking outside the box when it comes to discipline.
