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Saturday, April 09, 2005
To die or not to die
By Chic Fortich
THE question of whether to give up on life or not, is not really for us to answer. That is, of course, if you do not take your own life yourself.
I remember my own mother, who was 96, and already very senile. Before that, she had kept wondering why God did not allow her to die. But, finally, on December 17, 2003, she left this world.
Considering myself, the various handicaps that I have, the strokes, and heart attacks--I also wonder why God has not yet taken my life.
Yet, there are the young, who die suddenly. And those who die during accidents.
And you keep wondering, "Why?" Especially those who are very obviously sick, and whose family has to spend a great deal of money, just to let him live on..."Why?"
We try to frame up the answers ourselves: because God still wants her alive; because God is giving him a chance to seek forgiveness; because God still has something for her to do; etc. etc.
But, are any of our answers right? Even that, we cannot say. The only thing we can do is to lie patiently, and wait for God's Will to be done.
And that waiting can be the most nerve-wracking of all.
We remember the time of Lemuria, about which I told you several issues ago. At that time, the people had the choice. And they only had the chance to say goodbye, then, to ascend and transfigure, then just disappear. No wakes. No funerals. No burials.
But that was a long time in the past. And even I cannot say for sure whether it was true or not.
What I can say for sure is that those who die usually have a time--about which you cannot say for how long, since time does not exist on the other side--for adjustment. A time during which to fully understand that they are no longer in this world.
And even the loved ones they leave behind are in a period of adjustment, too. For they must adjust to their loss of a loved one. I believe this is harder to adjust to, because we have time here.
I recall a client of mine in Quezon City. He was a large man in his fifties, but he had to come to me so I could help him adjust to his losing his beloved wife.
The moment we were alone, his tears began to fall. His wife had died recently, but he could not remove her slippers from beside their bed, or renew the arrangement of the pillows on the bed. He still felt she was lying beside him.
Actually, I saw his wife's ghost behind him. She wanted him to stop his crying, and to adjust to his losing her.
It took a while for me to tell him what she wanted him to understand. To assure him that she would still be with him. And that she still loved him.
Finally, he broke into a smile, and said he really loved her, and his love would last forever. That was a very touching statement, but very true, for I saw that her ghost also broke into a big smile.
After that, I heard he had gone back to his former life, now assured that she would always be with him.
This shows us, the ones left behind, that we still could continue our lives, normally. And the ones who die really have had their time with us, to be loved.
And whether we die or not, the most important answer to our question is: she may have left me, but her ghost is still with me, and continues to love me.
Much later, we may even forget that answer, for his or her ghost has gone on to start on another reincarnation.
And that should be what we all must look forward to.
(April 9, 2005 issue)
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