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Sunday, August 13, 2006
The magic of pick-up lines
By Danilo V. Adorador III
CHAPS need no juicy pick up lines when they're just ogling some Asia Agcaoili mag-standees.
Nor do they need it when girls don't wear (or don't have) their IQ behind their wide smiles. Feminists may raise a hue and cry but just as there are empty-headed jocks so there are sexy, brainless bimbos -- it's not a perfect world.
Okay this is the Internet age, but along with sizzling webcam exposures and raunchy chatrooms, the truth remains that Maria Clara still walks among our Filpina denizens!
And oh how helpful are those tingling, mouth-watering pick-up lines. They are the bait to reel in the fish and there are plenty of fish in the ocean, the cliché goes. The good thing is unlike fishing where you can reel in anything from a smelly tin can to Orca the killer whale, you can always spot your prey and use that killer pick-up line to drag her hook, line and sinker.
Sounds perversely macho and sexist? You bet it is. But how do you know it's the right one for your girl?
Remember, girls have different "weak points" and enlisting those sugarcoated locutions can make or break your "diskarte."
With the men's exclusive vocabulary expanding at such a rapid rate -- thank you Don Juans, thank you -- how do you know which one is more effective in a given scenario, aka "date" or first meeting.
What better way than to ask our "targets" themselves? So we set in motion some sleuthing in a mall where our kolehiyalas regularly trek. Alpha Male's prowlers ambushed them in food courts and even outside comfort rooms, our staff pulling out a wad of pick-up lines and asked the rather semi-shocked dahlings which would appeal to them most in any given circumstances:
(1) Shall I call you in the morning or nudge you?
(2) When they made the alphabet they should have put "u" and "i" together.
(3) Didn't we go to different schools together?
(4) Do you mind standing still while I pick you up?
(5) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I pass by again?
(6) That dress looks good on you but I look better.
(7) You know you look like my next girlfriend.
(8) You have a boyfriend? You want a better one?
(9) I lost my bed -- can I sleep in yours?
(10) Can you catch? I think I'm falling for you.
(11) I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth.
(12) Hello my name is chance. Do I have one?
Well here's how they react: Majority thought item 2 "sweet" and said that guys who chose to fire away such line on the first date would "definitely" get their attention.
Cheryl Lim, a Capitol University sophomore, found item 2 "unique" saying boys should avoid worn-out pick-up lines such as item 3.
"Girls would swoon at something heavenly that they don't hear before, or something that is thought to be especially created for them by the guy himself," she said.
A guy is also thought to be smart when he uses punch line number 5, 6 and 12 on the second date. The same line would surely flop on the first meeting.
A large segment said item 11 was funny, but some girls suspected that the line is double entendre.
Most of the girls found items 7 and 9 as "presko" when they are said on first meetings. Most of the girls found these lines "bastos" but would consider if delivered by guys they already knew for some time.
For girls whose relationships are on the rocks said they would "seriously" give it a thought if a guy enlists the help of item 8.
Well the girls themselves have spoken. Better stock up on unique and fresh pick up lines or lick someone else's grimy boot instead.
(August 12, 2006 issue)
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