Friday, March 30, 2007 Cole: Waiting to exhale By Eldred Cole Shespeak
IT'S that time of year again. No, I'm not talking about the Fire Prevention Month or the Women's Month anymore, I am talking about that particular moment in time, when, in a life of a law student who took the bar exams last September 2006, the waiting game is about to end.
Last September, 6,344 law graduates from 100 Philippine law schools took the 100-year-old plus Bar exams. Now that the release of the results approaches, the mental torture is going to get worse. Really, really worse.
In my experience, the first time I felt God's presence was when I took the bar exams, but I felt His presence more when it was already March, and April was just around the corner. That was the first time I had nightmares, waking up at dawn drenched in sweat, that is, if I managed falling asleep. That was the first time I went to church, alone, without prompting from my parents and siblings. That was the first time my tears fell while praying, and feeling so humble, so naked before God. I felt guilty of asking for anything because I forgot Him in happier times.
I even made a deal with Him. Promised Him my first born as a sacrifice, my first millions to be donated to build a church, my services as a lawyer to be for his people. When I made it and became a lawyer (after assuring myself I really did pass the Bar by buying all the newspapers containing the results), I don't really have any knowledge whether it was because of the deal I made, or because He took pity on me. Nevertheless, I was only able to make good my third promise, and still doing it to the best of my ability. The first two, well, I struck out.
I could empathize with the "barristers" waiting for the results of the Bar exams at present. I had first time experience on that regard. And it gets really bad when persistent "rumors" that the bar results will be released anytime, and people will already congratulate you for making it when it is still a figment of your imagination. This, of course, adds to the agony of waiting. But, guys, relax (if that's possible). Take this weekend to get some rest. Go to a retreat. Continue working. Get a vacation. It won't be released today, but it will be released. Take a deep breath and think about happier times, when everything that you have dreamed about (or having nightmares) is finally here.
Just strive to get by with everyday. Just be good and do good wherever you are and whatever activity you have plunged yourselves into, as I know you do. Although, waiting for the Bar results often make you feel so lost, it is just so normal. Been there, than that. But you know what, it is no longer the time to make a bargain with you-who. It's too late for that. All along, until this last moment, you know your prayers are answered. It might not be the one you want, but it is the one you need.
Besides, I believe everybody knows about the petition of Satur Ocampo pending with the Supreme Court, although not everybody knows that it's scheduled for oral arguments on March 30. So, considering that the Supreme Court will have its hands full, so to speak, and will get less time to tackle the bar results prior to that date, therefore, future lawyers have to extend their period of "reflection" until April 2-4, or to whatever date the Supreme Court will deign to decide to release the results.
One thing is clear though, sooner or later, you will become lawyers - it might be sooner or it might be later. Anyway, if you took the Bar exams for the first time, you still have four more to go. Just don't waste time having a nervous breakdown now; it won't do you any good.
For comments and reactions e-mail me at coi_416@hotmail.com.
