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Sunday, January 19, 2003
Lim: Missing the moment
By Melanie T. Lim
There are a hundred and one reasons to be unhappy.
You’re broke and beat. You’ve lost your job – and in the middle of recession. It’s an IT revolution and you don’t even know who Bill Gates is. The latest accessory in town is a wedding ring and only your creditors are giving you a ring. You’ve found the girl of your dreams but you are not her dream.
You are dateless and desperate, alone and lonely, depressed and suicidal. She cheated on you with a man, richer and better hung. He left you for another woman, ten years younger and ten pounds lighter.
You have flab on your abs, zits on your face and Ben Affleck is already taken.
Your friends are sporting brand-new SUVs and you’re still driving your ten-year old beat up sedan. They hie off to their mountain retreats and beachfront properties for the holidays while you’re slouched on your couch watching reruns of “Friends.” Your ex-boyfriend has an ex-model for a wife, two adorable kids and a vacation home in the Maldives while you have a VHS player, two dogs and bad childhood memories.
It consumes you, you know, that which you want which you can’t have. It gnaws at you at night and drains you by day. But worst of all, it eats away at the joy of your every waking moment. Don’t let life pass you by. Don’t live, lamenting. Live in celebration of every glorious morning.
You’re 40 years old and life still isn’t happening. Well, maybe it’s not happening because you’re not making it happen. Maybe, you’re waiting for someone to make it happen. You lost your job? Look for another. You lost your man? Look for someone better. You think it’s too late? I hear that life begins at 40. Well, in that case, I can’t wait because life is already great on the way there.
You’ve missed your targets, fallen short of your goals. You’ve lost money and property. You’ve wasted time and that, we know, is gold. The one you love doesn’t love you. Well, cheer up. You are not alone. He betrayed you. Well, its his sin not yours. He threw you over for another woman. Well, if he couldn’t see you as the better woman, then out there, has to be a better man.
Don’t let your hopes die along with your dreams.
It’s not about having all that you want. It’s about wanting all that you have. To be disappointed means you have aspired. To fail means you have tried. To hurt means you have loved. To survive means you have learned. It’s about living, not just about being alive.
Live life as it must be lived – with joy, courage and fire. Pursue your passions. Go out on a limb. Test your limits. Go on a journey to find yourself. Learn all that you must. Love well. And live each day as if it were your last.
Find pleasure in the everyday. Find meaning in the ordinary. Look to the future but live in the present. Savor the moment. There is no forever. Only now. And if you miss it, you will truly have every reason to be unhappy. So you want to be happy? Well, don’t miss the moment – starting now.
(The writer can be reached at sunstarcebucolumnist @yahoo.com)
(January 19, 2003 issue)
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