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Saturday, February 15, 2003
Libre: Of two becoming truly one
By Mel B. Libre
Seriously now
My wife Debbie and I had an unusual date on Valentine’s Day. We were invited to be among the panelists in a talk show at the USC-TC on the topic, “Marriage and Single-Blessedness.” USC Law librarian Arlene Bacayo was the resource person on the second item.
For two nights, we discussed our answers to the questions that would probably be asked during the program furnished in advance to us by the organizers. We went over our old materials from our weekends with the Worldwide Marriage Encounter. Browsing through the materials, we were able to remember the struggles we went through during the weekends we attended. We just wanted to be sure we could respond properly to questions that would be asked during the session with the young audience of the university.
If only to appear properly dressed for the occasion, we agreed to wear red attires. While some may have tagged us “baduy,” we were totally at ease with our appearances as these reflected our romantic feeling. The questions were not as difficult as we expected them to be and in the end we felt we were able to impart the message that marriage is a wonderful thing, if couples work hard at it.
One question asked was, “What is the right time to get married?” Candidly, I told the audience that as early as when I was 17, I had planned most of what I wanted to do for the next 10-20 years. I had written that I would marry at the age of 30, but I advanced my target by two years when my future wife asked me, after six years of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, if I was interested in marriage. And I realized by then that I was very sure of my feelings towards her. I was prepared to take the plunge because I knew that I wanted to spend my life with her forever and that I was, at that time, already prepared – financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually.
Another query was, “What are the difficulties in marriage?” Debbie and I agreed that problems do affect the relationship of couples. Among the factors that hinder marriages are finances, time, personalities, in-laws and personal ambitions vis-à-vis family mission. Yet, these obstacles can even strengthen the marriage if couples dialogue and together seek solutions. Husband and wife must work as a team, as they must.
There is the perception that infidelity of spouses occurs when the romance dies between them. But we’ve realized as a couple that, through the years, our attraction to each other has grown stronger since we have become more open with our feelings to each other.
When we were asked the question, “Do you want so have some space once in while during marriage?” my response was that I could not imagine myself being away from my wife and children for a long time. It happened once, when Debbie went to the US for a two-month vacation and I realized that life was empty without her by my side. She did come back after knowing that I would not cut my beard until she returned.
How about loss of freedom because of marriage? If couples thoroughly understand each other, they will allow their partner to fulfill their individual dreams. The spouse and the family can be inspirations in achieving those dreams. As we have practiced these past years, my family always starts the year by writing the mission as a family, as well as, each individual member’s resolutions for the incoming year. When we review it at the end of the year, we would be overjoyed when each one would announce fulfillment of the written resolutions.
There is so much to say about marriage, but too little space to write in. Let me just end by quoting my wife: “Marriage is a mission and for it to succeed, Jesus must be at its center.” And as for me, “There is no such thing as a perfect couple. But couples must always strive for perfection. Such can only be done if the two become truly one.”
(February 15, 2003 issue)
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