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Thursday, January 15, 2004
Famador: Banana politics
By Joel Famador
No matter how ugly the Supreme Court castigated the commissioners of the Commission on elections (Comelec) for the anomalous automation contract, it is not going to make a dent. The commissioners will cling to their jobs like barnacles. You know these creatures (barnacles)? They don’t have honor, conscience or decency.
So what do you do with barnacles? Impeach them? I don’t think so. You don’t impeach sub-human species. Our congressmen wouldn’t have time for small-time operators. Besides, it is election time, the congressmen are gunning for reelection and they don’t want Comelec to ruin their chances.
Well, if our system cannot do anything with this pain in the a__, we might as well ask Mr. Roger Rosal of the Red Brigade to do the job.
Who do you think benefits from this shenanigan of the Comelec? No, it is not the opposition. It’s the administration/ruling party.
In a non-automated voting (manual), you need thousands of people to watch over the election results, from the voting in the precincts up to the canvassing, whether local or national. Who is well equipped to gather and organize all those people but the ruling party of President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo?
That explains why the traditional politicians are jumping over to the side of GMA. She has all the resources under her control, after all, she is the chief executive officer of this banana republic.
If you get to GMA’s side, you have an enormous amount of campaign expenses. That’s why the Sonny Osmeñas or the Maid Miriams did some awkward somersaulting. That’s politics for you, banana republic style.
But wait. Why did GMA take Sonny and Miriam Defensor Santiago in? For sure, the opposition voters will junk these two people for the sordid act of betrayal. Instead of gaining votes through them, GMA certainly would be losing a lot. And you thought politics is a game “addition.”
And what would Sonny and Miriam gain by joining GMA (aside from the logistics support)? Wouldn’t the diehard Edsa 2 fanatics junk them?
In the final analysis, GMA didn’t get anything positive from Sonny and Miriam. Instead, she would gain the wrath of the Edsa 2 fanatics because these people went to that place to protest the majority vote of the 11 senators against the opening of the infamous but juicy Jose Velarde envelope. And you still remember the names and faces of those senators, don’t you, Joe Banana?
GIANT PISSHOLE. We are going to have the Sinulog celebration this coming weekend. You just hope that government people handling the festivities have brought in a lot of piss houses for the people to use, otherwise our city will be stinking to high heavens with human and dog urine. But I haven’t seen them yet.
They better beg the restaurants and hotels to open their rest rooms to the great horde of celebrants, who will be pissing a lot on that day. Charge them P20 per piss, ok, Joe Banana?
(January 15, 2004 issue)
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