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Sunday, February 08, 2004
Lim: Issue of adultery
By Melanie T. Lim
“FPJ love child a non-issue,”screams the headlines.
There are those who say that Fernando Poe Jr. should answer only to his wife and not to the public for his sexual indiscretions. Perhaps–-if FPJ was not running for the presidency. I don’t know about the rest of the population in this country, but I don’t take infidelity lightly.
Many women accept adultery as a part of their lives mainly because they’ve been raised to believe that what is prevalent is probably normal and what is normal is necessarily right. But what women should realize is that if adultery has indeed become a part of their lives, it’s probably because they tolerate and accept it. And not because it is right.
Many men have reacted in a predictable manner over the latest FPJ expose. The usual quip has been “What has his having fathered an illegitimate child during his marriage got to do with his ability to run the country?”
I find that even in the 21st century, many men continue to find it baffling how their sexual dalliances could invariably affect their leadership abilities. But if we could, just for a moment, think a notch higher than our raging libidos, we would not sink as fast into the moral well.
If we could hang our genitals on the wall at the end of the day then I submit our sexual behavior can be taken in isolation of our general behavior. But as we were created with our genitals attached to the rest of our bodies, I believe it was God’s intention to deny us the convenient separation of our sexuality from the rest of our person. Our sexual practices are part of us. They define us too.
We cannot evaluate the competence of a leader in isolation of his character. Granted that many people may prefer to separate one’s sexuality with one’s sense of morality, the fact remains that when we elect a president into office, it is with the expectation that this person shall conduct himself only with the highest ethical standards.
Adultery can hardly be called ethical behavior. If FPJ can betray his wife, so can he, the Filipino people.
What FPJ and the rest of the men in this country probably don’t understand is that when you aspire for the highest seat of the land, you set exacting standards for yourself. Your integrity is unassailable, your behavior beyond reproach. Such is the burden that must be carried by those who aspire for leadership.
Adultery is not a crime committed only against a spouse. It is a crime committed against society. Each act of adultery perpetuates the cycle of abuse that seals the fate of the next generation. Another generation who has to live with an act that has become so prevalent, many have been misled into thinking it is normal and worse, that it is right.
Susan Roces may have accepted her fate. But I refuse to accept mine. The presidency of this country shall not go to a man who affords so little respect and dignity to women. There is no honor in admitting to adultery or fatherhood of an illegitimate child. But there is honor in withdrawing from a race that should rightfully belong only to those with the moral authority to lead this nation.
(e-mail: sunstarcebucolumnist@yahoo.com)
(February 8, 2004 issue)
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