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Thursday, June 10, 2004
Famador: Wow Philippines
By Joel Famador
If you saw the beautiful places in this fruity rep advertised on television here and abroad, you would say nothing beats the Philippines in exotic/scenic spots and resorts. Dick Gordon really made a superb job in advertising our republic's jewels.
(Not to mention the exotic and weird goings-on in Congress where the slowest count in any election is going on. But that is not a paid ad. It is for free, being broadcast all over the world to show the weirder stuff in this planet. It is unfortunate that the National Geographic is not taking charge of the show. But how come nobody is submitting the event to the Guinness Book of Records? There is a big price for that--10,000 greenbacks or 560,000 diminished pesos.)
Okay, enough with that digression. But the problem, with Super(?) Dick (Gordon) is that he stopped right there. He advertised. He never bothered to improve the infrastructure supporting the tourism industry.
If you were a tourist (local or foreign) wanting to go to the “virginal” Malapascua Island in Daanbantayan, Cebu by driving your own car, you would be shocked to discover that there is absolutely no street sign along the way to guide you to that place. Your guide would be the denizens in Bogo, Medellin and Daanbantayan where you have to literally stop in every corner or fork to ask, which way is to "Devil's Island”?
Fortunately, the people in these places are not like the arrogant French because they are gracious enough to help and tell you where, in "bisdak" English, if you will. In the end the game of hide and seek imposed on you by government nitwits would make the trip to the island worthwhile.
And when you reach the jump-off point to Malapascua, which is in Maya, Daanbantayan, you can’t find a public park area for cars. So what’s wrong with the mayor of the town? Doesn’t she know that she has a jewel of an island in her place? Or does she want to keep the wondrous island away from tourists?
Maybe that’s not a bad idea after all. That will preserve the island a little longer compared to the rapid deterioration of Moalboal or Boracay due to lack of control and planning by the Tourism Department and the DENR.
Finally, after spending long minutes to find a private place where you can park your car, which charges a scandalous P130 a night without any guarantee or protection for your car, you are confronted with the boatman that wants to transport you to the island for an exorbitant fee of P800 on "pakiao" basis. If you don't know how to haggle, you would find out later in the island that the going rate is really P500 only for one group.
But I nearly forgot to mention the drive to Daanbantayan. If you were coming from the land of milk and honey, you would end up a nut case. Why?
Nobody observes traffic rules. You get to deal with the slow-moving vehicles that stay on the left lane, or the “trisikad" that scrapes your car, or the jobless people that "tsismis" on the side of the narrow road, or the long funeral procession that occupies the whole width of the road, or the reckless movements of public buses that terrorize you like bin Laden, or the enormous potholes in Daanbantayan that seem to engulf yon.
The amazing part is that when you get to stay in Malapascua even for a night you tend to forget those irritants, and make a promise to return to that tropical jewel.
Our banana islands maybe a lost paradise, but it is still a paradise in every sense of the word. (Never mind the unusual activity going on in Congress. It must be some kind of a diversion devised by Super Dick to entertain the tourists or maybe divert the attention of those aging, weathered foreign male carnivores that tow along some virginal--or like a virgin, according to Madonna--female natives in Malapascua Island.)
Wow, Philippines!
(June 10, 2004 issue)
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