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Sunday, December 19, 2004
Lim: Despair Central
By Melanie T. Lim
I know it’s a lame way to spend a Sunday but as I sat transfixed listening to bombshell Rosanna “Osang” Roces speak about why she finally left Tito Molina, the man she believed she was married to, I couldn’t help but despair at the thought that her story was not so uncommon.
Osang’s story is shared by many women. There are variations to each story. But there is one recurring theme: a lazy, irresponsible husband.
Girl meets boy. Boy sweeps girl off her feet. Girl with stars in her eyes, marries Boy. One day, for some reason, Boy leaves job or gets sacked, whichever comes first.
Girl arrives at Despair Central.
Girl is forced to fend for her family. She toils from morning till evening to put food on the table, pay rent and send the kids to school. Yet, at the end of the day, it is not over. The dishes, the laundry and the homework of the children await her. There are domestic disputes to be settled, mis deeds to be censured, sexual appetites to be satisfied. Everyday is a struggle but she survives.
Girl discovers the meaning of Despair Central.
As time passes, Girl becomes braver and stronger. She discovers a world that, as she was always made to believe, was beyond her. Girl becomes emotionally and fi-nancially independent and stable. Meanwhile, Boy discovers a new world too, a comfortable one. Boy discovers he can sleep all day and have Girl support him forever. Girl nags Boy to find a job. He says he can’t find one, his constant refrain in the last 15 years. And yet Boy lives like a king and spends money like water.
Girl finally gives Boy money to put up a business so he can earn his own keep. Boy sells to Girl for a profit. The business flourishes. But Boy hangs out with freeloaders who are only too glad to tell him
what he wants to hear. One day, all the money disappears. But a condo in the name of another womanstands. The well of patience finally dries up.
Girl realizes it’s time to get out of Despair Central.
And there are still other stories that include physical abuse. One battered wife asks me, “What do I have to look forward to? Death?” My reply: Don’t wait for death to redeem you. Get a one-way ticket out of Despair Central. But take my advice: find out first if you are ACTUALLY legally married to the bum who batters you. Don’t pay for something you can get for free. Learn from those who’ve been down that road.
(My book, “Wide awake” is available at: The Aquarian, Mango Sq; Big Mao, Crossroads Mall; Café Georg, Banilad; Caro & Marie, SM & Cherry Court; Ng Khai Service Center & Premium Concepts, Ayala Mall; Sun.Star, P.del Rosario; St; Vicky’s, Mabolo and onboard all major vessels of Sulpicio Lines Inc. E-mail: wideawakeincebu@yahoo.com.)
(December 19, 2004 issue)
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