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Sunday, June 26, 2005
Lim: If you can let go
By Melanie T. Lim
I should know. I’m a big planner. I like planning. I’m very obsessive about it. And I still am. But now, I don’t crumble when my plans fail.
I take delight in having spent zillions of hours vicariously living through my plans, I no longer feel shattered when they don’t materialize exactly as planned.
When you fall in love, the person you love won’t always fall in love with you.
When you marry, you won’t always live happily ever after. When you have kids and love them like there is no tomorrow, they won’t always appreciate all that you do.
When you go into business, it won’t always be successful. When you pursue a career, it won’t always end up with you sitting in the office with a view. When you go on a trip, you won’t always get to see all the places you dreamed of going.
But if you can let go of the need to have a perfect plan, you can really have a great time.
If you can let go of the need to be always right, you can learn a lot more in life. If you can let go of the need to be loved so lavishly all the time, you can be a better friend, sister, daughter, mother and significant other. If you can let go of the need to be all things to all people, everyone can be happier.
If you can let go of the need to care about what everyone thinks, you won’t be as exhausted pretending to live the life you don’t have. You won’t be as fearful of being found out. You won’t be as bitter, guilt-ridden and resentful for having bent backwards to pretend to be what you are not.
The reality is that no one lives a perfect life. But you can change the course of your life—anytime. You hold the key.
If you can let go of the need to be physically perfect, you can actually be beautiful. If you can let go of the need to be wildly successful, you can actually be remarkable. If you can let go of the need to be loved forever, you can actually be a better lover.
Seek perfection in everything you do. Strive to be the best of what you can be.
Seek excellence in your life. But make room for failure, heartbreak and tragedy. Things won’t always turn out as planned. You hold the key. But God in the heavens holds the master key.
When you let someone go, he won’t always come back to you.
But if you can let go—of the perfect world, the perfect life and the perfect ending you have in your mind, you can still be happy.
(My book, “Wide awake” is available at: THE AQUARIAN, Mango Sq; BIG MAO, Crossroads Mall; CAFÉ GEORG, Banilad; CARO & MARIE, SM & Cherry Court; NG KHAI SERVICE CENTER, Ayala Mall; PREMIUM CONCEPTS, Ayala Mall & Banilad Town Center; SUN.STAR, P. del Rosario St and VICKY’S, Mabolo.
E-mail: sunstarcebucolumnist@yahoo.com)
(June 26, 2005 issue)
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