Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Yap: Text
By Januar Yap
Meanwhile
My good friend Paul, a retired cop who fancies himself as a Jack Nicholson-look-a-like, tries to hone his skill with text messaging.
A simple “ok” from me, he said, and he’d know he did right with the thing. Okay, I said, so when you send “wer r u?”, I’ll say “ok”. Crazy, he said. But let’s leave SPO4 Nicholson at that, for now.
A man, one day, finds himself in a precinct’s detention cell with a cellphone. He gets a message from a friend. The following is a record of that very crucial exchange:
Friend: wer man u?
Man: am in jail, wala pa ko eat.
F: y man ka der?
Man: Na-apprehend man gud ko last nyt.
F: 4 wat man?
M: nag-sell man gud ko og drugs.
F: uy bad baya na.
M: yah, unya bulk pa jud.
F: so ma-dead na ka ana?
M: kung bad akong lawyer.
F: na-keep nila ang evidence?
M: na-keep lagi. Many pa jud.
F: hard diay i-win ang case.
M: di ko sure. Mo-pay kaha ko sa judge.
F: that’s so expensive uy. Mo-come out unya ka sa press.
M: no choice man gud.
F: hala, so ma-hang na ka sa rope ana?
M: no uy, lethal injection. Primitive man ka uy.
F: sorry no.
M: how r u na man?
F: here, wala ko job. when dead na ka, i-leave unya imong things to me ha.
M: sige, urs na lang to akong paltik.
F: tenks! so maka-defend na ko sa akong self sa vigilante!
M: uy, bring me bread bi. wala pa ko eat since last nyt.
F: ur so luoy jud. Near na ko mo-cry. wer man ka na-jail?
M: here lang sa police station.
F: k
(januariusmail@yahoo.com/0927-4908875)
(August 16, 2005 issue)
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