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Sunday, September 18, 2005
Luab: No wounds, no pearls
By
Evelyn R. Luab
Light Sunday
“Each pearl is formed by an oyster’s internal response to a wound caused by an irritant, such as a grain of sand. Resources of repair rush to the injured area. The final result is a lustrous pearl.”
We were taught this fact in grade school. Again not so long ago I found this fact in one of my readings but I cannot for the life of me remember the author. I quote, “Something beautiful is created that could have been impossible without the wound.”
Two days ago, I met a long-lost friend from my high school days. The first thing she told me was “I got divorced in 1965. I raised four boys all by myself. They are now all through and have families of their own. I’m proud of myself and very proud of them. I feel that you should know this part of my history before anything else.”
She told me of her hard times, not only the financial part but the emotional part as well. She told me of the times when the young boys had to walk to school, and had to do without so many things that her heart would often break. She spoke of the buckets of tears that she shed when she found out that her husband had a mistress at his office. When she decided to leave, she also brought the four boys with her. She rented a room, and brought up her boys on her teacher’s pay while tutoring on the side. Between sips of coffee, she told me that it was really tough going but when her eldest graduated from college, he helped her by sending the others to school. Looking back now she said, “They became men by necessity. We became a close-knit family, looking out for each other. Not once did they run to their father for help. Our hard times have strengthened our bonds and have made us better persons.”
“I suppose,” she added, “it’s how we react to a crisis that matters.”
When she left, my admiration for her grew. In spite of everything that she told me, she was looking well. In fact, she looked better than most of us who were in the same year level in high school.
This meeting made me look back. Then I remembered a friend from my college days who rose very fast in the business world because he got employed by a huge manufacturing firm. Eventually, he rose as manager of the firm and eventually to senior vice-president. Then came the day when the eldest son of the owner of the company graduated from an MBA course. After that event, my friend was replaced by the son. My friend simply got assigned to head projects one after the other. Eventually, heartbroken, my friend resigned. For a year, he went into consultancy work. Finally, he decided to leave the country and tried his luck in Hong Kong. There he made good. Today, he has his own consultancy firm with a team of dynamic troubleshooters.
Many of those who survived strokes, cancer ailments or who went into a near-death experience all say practically the same thing. They say that they have become better persons, are more God-fearing and neighbor-loving.
When Peter denied God three times, Peter must have felt very bad. However, he catapulted back into the service of God. He became the first Pope of the Catholic hierarchy.
When Saul was struck blind and fell from his horse, he must have felt the pain. But Saul became St. Paul and became one of Christ’s strong defenders.
We all have heard of growing pains and we often make light of a teenager’s cry of anguish when they sob on our shoulders after being jilted for the first time, or after having flunked Math or Geometry, or after having lost in a championship game. All these growing pains can be turned into learning experiences where a child grows stronger as he survives his crises. Even financial difficulties can make a child learn the value of work and the value of money.
My generation speaks of chores done on weekends where mowing of a lawn cost P1 or cleaning a house found coins in our piggy bank. Some of us sold fried bananas, borrowing capital from our parents while saving our profits. Others sold fruits by the wayside and earned money for school projects.
Those in the rural areas would go to the city to buy matches, needles, thread, etc. and would sell these items at the market place during tabo (a day set aside for buy-and-sell at a designated place). Our generation has contributed dedicated and committed leaders to Mother Philippines.
Today, we hear the Cassandras of this world talk of the Philippines going down if President GMA is not going to resign or if the pro-impeachment proponents do not get their issues scrutinized by the public. They say this will either make or break the Philippines.
Believe it or not, I say, this is not the end of us yet. Out of this outcry of pain and dissension, somewhere in this mess is the molding of the metal in a furnace. How we will come out of this fire will depend entirely on our response to the situation.
Do we lose this opportunity to grow or do we produce a pearl instead?
(September 18, 2005 issue)
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