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Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Pages: Badminton-crazy? Take this test
By John Pages
Matchpoint
This 2005, no sport has dripped more sweat on court, stolen more P500 bills from our pockets, and killed more feathers.
Bad. Meant. On.
Let’s admit it: This game has turned us on. We’re bad. We’re fans. We’re badminton fanatics. If only possible, each week we’d do No.14 (below). From Lapu-Lapu to Digos to Quezon City, tens of millions of Filipinos (OK, that’s an exaggeration) flock to well-lit and cologne-smelling bodegas to do a smash.
Below, I’ve come up with a Top 40 list. Grab a pen, do some checks, and if you answer 10 or more with a “yes,” here’s my tip: Lessen that tight grip and stop No.19. Good luck!
You’re a badminton fanatic when you…
1. Buy Adidas because the logo looks like a shuttlecock.
2. Fall in love with someone who’s good at “bad,” never mind how ugly.
3. Think forehand or backhand grip a split-second before shaking your friend’s hand.
4. Don’t see a doctor for “tension” but rather your racket stringer.
5. Visit a music store, violins and cellos don’t come your mind when you see “STRING SECTION.”
6. Meet a Danish person and ask, “Badminton player?”
7. Form hundreds of shuttlecocks into a Christmas tree.
8. Buy a tennis racket to train your wrist strength.
9. Wish you lived in Indonesia.
10. Force your children to play five hours during weekends and holidays (including Christmas day).
11. Own four or more rackets.
12. Fly to Bacolod to join tournaments.
13. Go to the “Mint Shop” during each BTC visit.
14. Call in sick at work and drive to Metrosports.
15. Memorize the number of cross and main strings in your racket.
16. Choose a boyfriend based on his level of play.
17. Think of badminton racquet instead of the public market when someone mentions “Carbon.”
18. Think of the game instead of marital status when someone says “single.”
19. Hold your girlfriend’s hand, she feels as if you are strengthening your grip.
20. Hire a trainer each week despite being Class A.
21. Own three or more pairs of badminton shoes.
22. Name your male dog “Shuttlecock.”
23. Flunk school because you play everyday that ends with a “y.”
24. Practice footwork in front of the men’s room mirror.
25. Continue playing on never mind your head bleeding from a racquet hit.
26. Buy 5,000-page Chemistry textbooks as weights for wrist training.
27. Know how many feathers are in the shuttlecock.
28. Go to Malaysia and look for Stadium Negara as one of your “must see tourist attractions.”
29. Have a shuttlecock hanging below your car rear-view mirror.
30. Went to Manila last July just to watch the MVP Cup.
31. Compare the calluses of relatives and friends.
32. Lie to your girlfriend saying you love her more than badminton.
33. Stare at your racket more than your wife.
34. Think world no. 1 Lin Dan is handsomer than Brad Pitt.
35. Can’t resist hitting a few shuttles even in your high-heeled shoes.
36. Have shoulder tendonitis.
37. Own a racket costing over P11,999.
38. Would rather play than go on a dinner date.
39. Have grip powder instead of baby powder in your toiletries.
40. Realize that your dandruff problem turns out to be just feather dust.
Finally, during this New Year’s Eve party, make sure you don’t do No. 31.
Here’s hoping your Christmas was a SMASH! May the New Year SERVE you well.
May your happiness never DROP. May your worries be SHORT, your patience
LONG. Have a VICTORious New Year!
(e-mail: john@playhouse.edu.ph)
(December 27, 2005 issue)
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