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Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Malilong: Christmas greetings
By Frank Malilong
The Other Side
I thought that the claim that we are the texting capital of the world was an empty boast until I saved the greetings I received through the short messaging service (SMS) last Christmas. My folder contained 113 messages! Considering the number of cell phone owners in the country, Smart and Globe must have made hundreds of millions pesos during the two-day period alone.
Many of the text messages were witty; some were prayerful. Most of them, however, were simple and direct to the point. Merry Christmas, the messages simply said. Allan Peńalosa, who recently lost a son to violence, prayed that I have as Christmas gift “a relaxed mind, a peaceful soul, joyful spirit, loving heart and answered prayers.”
Why the texted Christmas wishes? Cebu Provincial Police Director Vic Loot’s message attempts to explain why: “Naisin ko man lechon at hamon ay ipadala, iyong altapresyon aking inaalala. Kaya para sa inyo text na lang muna. Sincere na, zero calories pa.” (“Much as I wish to send you lechon and ham, I worry about your hypertension. So make do with the text. It’s not only sincere, it has zero calories.”)
Some of the messages were naughty. Take this one from businessman Jimmy Yap: “Ang binabati ko lang ng Merry Christmas ay ang mga artistahin, may dating, good looking, matalino at malaki ang sex appeal. So paano, Happy New Year na lang.” (“The only people I greet Merry Christmas are those who are actor-like, have a presence, are good looking, intelligent and have strong sex appeal. So, make do with Happy New Year.”)
Romy Alejandro, Frank Cuenco and Peter Yu (who is not a tennis player) extended not only their greetings but also those of Roger Federer, David Nalbandian, Maria Sharapova and Elena Dementieva. Virgin Tan of Thinking Tools, on the other hand, listed herself in the company of Bill Clinton, Lee Kuan Yew, Ramon Magsaysay Jr., Chief Justice Hilario Davide Jr. and Josh Groban among my well-wishers.
Onyot Pajares sent this wish to his badminton friends: “May your Christmas be a SMASH, your new year SERVE you well, your happiness never DROP, your worries be SHORT and your patience be LONG. See YONEX time.”
The greetings of two very good friends gave me a terrible headache. Quite coincidentally, they both hail from Zamboanga del Norte.
From colleague SuperBob (Nalzaro): “Kadtong mga yamog nga giugom sa mga bulak ning adlawng mahimayaon mihinay nag pangambak samtang mibidlisiw ang kainit sa malaumong adlaw sa pagkatawo sa manunubos. Malipayong Pasko.” From Court of Appeals Justice Godardo A. Jacinto: “Uban sa kaangso sa mga kwaknit, dinuyogan sa kangilngig sa mga ungo, taliwala sa honi sa mga kikik ug mga paghot sa mga sigbin, Maayong Pasko Amigo.”
I promise to give my pay for one column to the reader who can provide the accurate English translation of the above messages (fmmalilong@yahoo.com)
(December 28, 2005 issue)
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