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Sunday, April 30, 2006
The teasing woman
All of this teasing is women testing their men and preparing them to react properly in emotional situations.
By “properly”, it doesn’t mean that she is teaching him to defend himself, or follow his own moral compass, if you are to take seriously what www.themen’scenter.com claims. Whether you accept this as gospel truth or not, it makes fun reading.
So, the feature continues: She is not helping him to get in touch with himself.
Quite the opposite, she is trying to find out just exactly how out of touch he is with himself, and help that along, if possible. She wants to know where his breaking point is, so that she can use that information to control him.
By “teasing,” she is sowing confusion, seeing how much emotional battering he can take before he snaps, and finding the hot buttons that make him feel guilty and apologetic. All three of these things help map the territory for her, and tell her how to manipulate him.
“Teasing” teaches a man not to trust his mate and, ultimately, not to trust his own feelings. She tells him that she mistakenly threw out his paycheck. His gut reaction is that this is a joke. She couldn’t possibly have done anything so stupid. As she continues to insist that she did, and chides him for leaving it on a pile with the newspapers, he is torn between believing his wife and believing in his wife’s intelligence. Finally, he caves in to the repeated assurances and gets angry, at which point she tells him that she was only joking, and gets angry at him for believing that she could be so stupid.
She has now taught him that he can’t trust his own feelings. He knew in the beginning that it was a joke, but she convinced him that he was wrong, then turned the tables on him and blamed him for believing her. If she repeats this process often enough, he will become completely confused and rely on only her to tell him what is right and what is not.
She has also determined just how long it takes him to cave in and simply believe whatever she says, no matter how outrageous. She has tested his boundaries to see how self-assured he is. The quicker he acquiesces the better, as it means that he is easier to control. She can encourage this by repeating this exercise over and over, causing him to simply accept whatever she says is the truth, sooner and sooner each time.
Finally, in the process of blaming him for the whole event, she may have come across one or two hot buttons that will cause him to break down, feel guilty, and apologize. These can be anything, from calling him a certain name, to shouting, to crying.
She will remember these for use later when the two of them get into an argument.
A thoroughly teased man no longer trusts his own feelings. He doesn’t dare trust them. He has learned that to trust his own feelings means that he often has to accuse his wife of lying to him through a perfectly straight face. If it turns out that he is right and she is fooling him, then all is well, but if his feelings are wrong and she is not fooling him, she will make him wish he had never been born. In short, teasing dramatically raises the stakes for the man. Trusting his own feelings becomes an extremely risky endeavour, so he doesn’t bother. He trusts hers instead.
She knows how long it will take him to get angry. This is perhaps the most important side-effect, as it tells her how far she can go in using him as an emotional punching bag when she’s having a bad day.
She also knows how to make him feel shameful and repentant. She will use this at every opportunity to turn the tide in arguments that are not going her way.
Frequent teasing by women establishes them as emotionally superior, and sets them up to win every argument that they have with their man in the future.
For Bisaya stories from Cebu. Click here. (April 30, 2006 issue)
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