Thursday, November 23, 2006 Seares: That Tom-Kate kiss - and O By Pachico A. Seares News Sense
Tom Cruise and Kate Holmes sealed their marriage with a “never-ending” kiss.
Hollywood exaggeration. Actually, they smooched for three minutes. Still unbelievably long by most standards.
Nuptial kiss must not look lascivious. Light, quick pressing of lips, no lingering or jaywalking, no probing or clashing of tongues. To which an extended kiss usually leads, unless it’s a kissing joust where prize motive crushes lusty thought.
A three-minute kiss is 179.95 seconds too long. No one shouted “Get a room” but some guests must have whispered, “Can’t you guys wait?”
Peace via sex
What were Tom and Kate trying to say? That they’re sure their union will last beyond pre-nup papers’ aging?
Or, were Tom and Kate trying to “change the energy field of the earth” and “reduce current dangerous levels of aggression and violence”?
A theory of Donna Sheehan and Paul Reffell says sex can bring about world peace. But that (a) calls for couples to stay home on Dec. 22 and engage in wild sex and (b) requires world-wide, same-day couplings — for that energy field thing.
One long kiss can’t produce what the Sheehan-Refell theory demands: multiple orgasms all over the globe on the same day.
If anyone goes mental about the O word, news media everywhere used it in reporting the story.
And word usage is the least problem about O. Which is why Global Orgasm for Peace is doomed.
