You may not know it, but in the ladies’ dormitory where I’m staying, we look forward to the delivery of Sun.Star Daily because of Women’s World.
I’m in my third year college in one of the universities in the city. During the second semester of my freshman year, my professor started courting me. I was very flattered because I consider him as my ideal man. By the end of the school year, we went steady.
Even if there really was no need for me to enroll that summer, I purposely took up a few subjects, just so I could be with him. It was during this time that I realized what a loving, caring, and super intelligent guy he is!
The irony of it all, doctora, is that the very quality that made me love him, his intelligence, is the trait that is giving me problems. When we’re out with his friends, I often feel inadequate and dumb; they all seem to be intellectuals. They engage in mental discussions, and for hobbies, they play scrabble and solve crossword puzzles. I am not fond of these pastimes.
Sometimes, he compares me to a girlfriend of this and that friend, who’s a dean’s lister or top ten in her class. As a result, I have become aloof. I try to give excuses when he invites me to join his friends, he doesn’t seem to be aware that I am most comfortable when it's just the two of us together. He is not sensitive to my feelings and seems to enjoy treating me as if I’m in the classroom.
I’m sincerely considering giving him up, but that would really break my heart. My grades are starting to become erratic. Please help.
Michelle
Dear Michelle,
Thank you. Also, thank your doormates for me—for the enthusiasm that our column generates. If Womens’ World serves as a healthy diversion from your books, then we have been aptly rewarded.
It’s not uncommon to have a campus romance between teacher and student. What is also common is the inferiority and superiority complex that may surface as a result thereof.
Inferiority complex encourages negative vibrations, don’t ever allow it to spoil the love you share with your loved one.
Whenever you start feeling insecure, try to focus on the fact that despite all the other girls who seem to be vying for his attention, he chose you. Why?
Because you are you—unique and special! He finds your naivete refreshing and lovable. On the other hand, whenever you feel that he is trying to be superior and condescending, check yourself—is this feeling just imagined or real? Chances are, these are just your perceptions.
Michelle, you seem to be more preoccupied with your relationship with your teacher than with your studies. For a change, why don’t you give yourself a break? Tell him frankly that you seem to feel negatively affected by your relationship. If he is mature enough, he will give you some breathing space.
Try to spend some time with your classmates and schoolmates who are more or less your age.
Too much time spent with each other could be stifling. Remember, the whole world is still ahead of you. After all, if you’re really meant for each other, the times you spend away from each other will only serve to bring you close together. Try it and you’ll see.
Truly yours,
Dr. Dana R. Sesante
Dana Ruiz-Sesante, M.D. owns and operates Ruiz Derma & Spa which offers a wide selection of beauty services. There are branches at SM City Cebu, Ayala Center, Escario, Mambaling, Marina Mall (Lapu-Lapu), and the latest branch at the Wave Mall, Pres. D. Macapagal Blvd., Makati City. She can be reached thru fax no. 253-9362 or via email at ruizderma@yahoo.com
