Wednesday, January 24, 2007 Loving women who love women By Zosimo T. Literatus, R.M.T. Breakthroughs
Part 2
LAST week, we touched on the morality issue of lesbian love relationships, and discussed the study on the genesis of these relationships.
Second to that, the stability of the relationship can be threatened by the balance of power.
In a 1984 study published in Sex Roles, Mayta A. Caldwell and Letitia Anne Peplau (both of the Department of Psychology at the University of California in Los Angeles) found that 40 percent of lesbian relationships had an unequal balance of power.
The lesser the dependence on the relationship and the greater the personal resources, the more power there was. Women in these unequal power relationships had been less satisfied with the relationship and anticipated more problems in their relationships.
Third, lesbian love relationships rarely result into cohabitation. In the book Male and Female Sexuality: A Comprehensive Investigation (William Wilkins, 1973), researchers MT Saghir and E. Robins observed that only 20 percent of lesbians had relationships that involved cohabitation for more than three years.
Like any interest, the female interest in staying in a lesbian love relationship determined the strength of the union. Such strength, however, can be appreciated through an understanding of the balance of power in that relationship.
If her daughter (referring to last week’s letter sender, a mother who called herself as SI) has greater power, she controls the relationship. But if the lesbian has greater power, this could be of serious concern as it indicates dependency. And there is always the matter of decision. Becoming or not becoming, loving or not loving; being a lesbian is a matter of choice.
Mothers like you, SI, understandably look after their daughter’s well-being.
You had her in your womb for nine months; took care of her thereafter until she learned to be on her own. But as she grew up and into independence, her life became a responsibility delivered into her hands by Nature. You watched her grow and helped her in whatever way you could. But your limit is what you can do. The rest would be in her hands and in God’s.
Right now, embrace your daughter, and inform her that whatever her choices might be for her life, you remain the mother who loves her so much and would always be there for her. This is the best time to make that clear to her.
In the end, your life is yours to account for, and her life is hers to account for. So free your life from guilt. Love enough. And that love would be enough. (For comments and suggestions, email to ztliteratus6046@lycos.com or text to 0927-979-3519.)
