Saturday, February 03, 2007 Quijano: Pacquiao for president By Jingo Quijano The last round
SOME of my fellow last rounders have been up in arms lately. Ever since the news that Richard Gomez and Cesar Montano are seeking senatorial posts came out—with the former reportedly being wooed actively by the ruling administration.
My good friend and kumpare, the radically good looking but trash-talking Atty. Ferdinand “Bobong” Pepito is livid that these actors have the temerity to think they can actually act as senators (pun intended).
I agree and may I add further that our boxers will obviously make better public servants. My dear show-biz fans, please do not give me that bull crap about busting heads and beaks not being impressive resume material.
What, wearing makeup, staging a few fight scenes under pink lights, and squeezing out a tear every now and then is? Puhleez! Boxers are extremely qualified. They are hardworking, fearless, tough, and stay clear of pork (barrel).
They wake up early in the morning and are asleep by 9 p.m. (No expensive GRO-laden night outs.) They are also very adept at following instructions (most of the time). Well, at least my boxers actually throw real punches!
Manny should not fret that he has been deemed not legally qualified to run for mayor of General Santos City. If Mr. Montano and Mr. Gomez deem themselves worthy to be senators then we will advocate for nothing less than the Presidency for Manny. These people can’t even tell a left hook from a left turn. Manny on the other hand, actually does what they pretend to do. Manny is real life not reel life.
In addition, you think Manny can’t act too? Just you wait for the release of the San Miguel Beer commercial co-starring his ring nemesis and now co-thespian Erik Morales.
This early I’m expecting sales to triple and my last-rounders to binge like there’s no tomorrow. Now that’s acting for you. Effortless but effective.
PERFECT. The 2010 presidential elections would be just perfect for Manny. It would give him more time to build up his name and expand his war chest. A few more years, a few more fights, a few more million dollars to personally finance his own campaign. Hence, no annoying contributors likely to ask favors later on. With Manny at the helm of our country’s reins, I am already suggesting the following probable candidates for his cabinet and other juicy posts—a motley crew of boxers, both active and retired and the press people who cover them:
* PNP Chief—Rey “Boom Boom” Bautista (That’s firepower for you)
* Department of National Defense—AJ “Bazooka” Banal (Offense is the best defense)
* Department of Environment and Natural Resources—Donnie “Ahas” Nietes (He loves nature so much he drapes his pet python around his torso like a malong)
* Department of Fisheries—Noel “The Eel” Tunacao (He will definitely look out for his own kind)
* Department of Tourism—Jerry Pahayahay (Self-explanatory)
* Department of Budget Management—Edwin Gastador (Finally, boxing will get the lion’s share)
* Department of Justice—Atty. Franklin “Jeng” Gacal (Manny’s legal counsel will definitely advise him not to honor the VFA)
* Department of Education—“Z” Gorres (The alphabet will never be the same again)
* Director, National Bureau of Investigation—Jimrex “The Executioner” Jaca (Execute first, investigate later)
* Chairman, National Police Commission— Isagani “Little Guns” Pumar (Indiscriminate firing during New Year’s Eve solved)
* Department of Finance—Randy “Komong Bato” Suico (Good luck trying to pry the money out of his rock-like grip)
* Press Secretaries—Homer Sayson, Salven Lagumbay and Dong Secuya (From now on, the sports page will be in front and all the petty stuff like government and politics will be alongside the obituaries where they rightfully belong)
* Chairman, Comelec—Yours truly. (Hello, hello garci… Gwen Garci..) LAST ROUND. This week’s last round is on me. I will be turning 34 tomorrow, the same as the “Golden Boy” Oscar dela Hoya.
If perchance we bump into each other, I’ll buy you a last round. Cheers guys!
