Sunday, April 15, 2007 Mercado: Lamplighter’s pop song By Juan L. Mercado Sidebar
“THE Lamplighter's Serenade” is not about unpaid electric bills or how elections stalled suspension of Mandaue and Lapu-Lapu mayors, plus 19 officials, who snapped up overpriced Chinese street lamps, notes columnist Eddie Barrita from Cabadiangan.
Hoagy Carmichael, in fact, composed the song, Barrita recalls. The ledgendary band leader Glenn Miller, who died in a World War II air crash, played it for the first time in 1940--–and into the top ten songs.
“Dressed in funny clothes but singing as he goes/ He reaches for his sticks and from his bag of tricks/ And he lights every star in the sky,” the lyrics go.
Nothing funny, though, about local officials twisting in the wind, for overpriced lamps, while Secretary Hermogenes Ebdane to Users Road Tax office staff remain scot-free.
Will Bicol public schools computer scandal silence Cebu’s “Lamplighter's Serenade”?
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People vent frustration by texting political jokes. Like this one: “This poster appeared in Comelec poster area: Support Charter Change. Vote for this provision: Article VI, Section 9---Politicians should serve two terms: One in office and one in jail."
The May 14 election had some companies issue rules on how employees should act. Here is one such memo:
“Dress Code for the election season: 1. Please come to work dressed according to your salary. If you wear Prada shoes or carry a Gucci bag, you’re doing well financially. Therefore, you do not need a pay raise. 2.
Shabby clothes mean you must manage your money better. Therefore you should not get a pay raise. 3. If you dress right, you’re right where you need to be and do not need a pay raise.
“Sick Leave: We will accept a political party’s certificate of illness, in lieu of a doctor’s note. Not counting Election Day itself, each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.
“Compassionate Leave: There is nothing you can do for friends, relatives or co-workers mauled, cheated or killed during election…Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
“In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled late afternoon. We’ll allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
“These rules remain in effect until the last protested ballot is counted and the last victim buried.--–Management.”
Candidates spout what are called "Pinoy Malapropisms." This one is from a Pampango candidate: "When it rains, it's four."
But another candidate, told he was lagging in the latest survey, consoled himself: "Every cloud has its silver lightning."
To debunk charges that his "program of government merely rehashed unfulfilled promises, this candidate protested: It's as brand as new."
And he insisted his opponent wanted to grab everything: "You want to have your cake and take it too."
He had some cautionary advice for companions: "Burn the bridge when you get there."
And when rain fell on the rally, the candidates yelled: "Guys, let's call it tonight."
Then, this Visayan candidate had to be hospitalized: “Nars, my back is herts bery mats,” he complained. “Can you tek the pein awi?”
Nurse: "OK, I'll give you a shot of morphine." The bisdak: "No! Not morpein! Less pein!"
Nurse: "But your wound is small. I'll just give you local anesthesia." Candidate: "Don't you have imported?"
“Open deposit,” said one chap. “Deposit! Ang gripo (the faucet) ba!”
But this one announced: “I’ll go to devastation (the bus station) instead.”
