Monday, June 04, 2007 Echaves: Beasts of burden By Lelani P. Echaves Thinking Aloud
“HUNONG na intawon mo! Daghan na mi kaayo!” (Stop the childbearing! There are too many of us already”) said the 21-year-old to her parents.
The eldest of seven children, the adolescent was only too aware that her father, a tricycle driver, never earned enough for the family of nine. The eldest finished only grade four, and helped the mother wash neighbors’ laundry twice a week. Her siblings were regular dropouts, doing a disappearing act every school year. And the mother was pregnant again.
Her case is not too different from a young friend I know. Throughout her two years of college studies, she has lived with her older sister and family. Despite the P2,000 monthly rental, their quarters do not have a divider between the sala and the kitchen. My young friend and her teenage brother stay in the sala, while her sister and family stay in the kitchen.
Naturally, my young friend can hear husband and wife quarrel over money matters. Husband objects to too many relatives in their quarters, and his wife in turn picks on her younger sister and brother over anything and everything.
If this situation ever sees any let-up, it won’t be soon. My young friend is the fifth of 11 children. The younger siblings are with the father in the province, and the youngest has never felt a mother’s love. That’s because his mother died while giving birth at age 45.
In college, my young friend finished a two-year associate course as a working student. She hoped to finish another two years for a college degree. No way, her sister said; the studying years are over. Instead, my young friend should find work and help augment the family finances. Whatever she could save, she could use to finance her further schooling.
Nice idea. Except for three things: Another older sister who used to work in the Middle East has quit her job; meaning, end of contribution to the family finances. Also, two sisters are in high school and have been sent from the province to join my young friend in her sister’s house. She should now spend for their education and daily needs. Moreover, her father and the youngest sibling must now need financial help. The father is now older and can’t work as much on his neighbor’s land.
At 20 years old, my young friend feels the yoke heavy on her fragile frame. With her monthly obligations facing her, she wonders if she can even save for her further schooling. And so I engaged her in some pencil pushing—this much for her siblings’ schooling, that much for the contribution to the relatives in the province, etcetera, etcetera. With great discipline and sticking to a spartan life, she can still fund her own education and save about P600 per month. Only then did she smile and her eyes light up!
Hers is the story like many others—of young ones’ woes as beasts of burden because parents lacked foresight, discipline and accountability for all children they brought forth into this world.
