Sunday, October 07, 2007 Singlestalk: This or that By Darwin John Moises and Michelle Mendez-Palmares Singlestalk
MICHELLE: Are you traditional or modern? Are you conservative or a non-conformist? Do you like black or white? Choices, choices, choices… the world is full of them. As is with men. Guys have different types as there are different types of women. There are some guys who are very discriminating that they end up with no one. There are also those who aren’t particular that they choose those that other men steer clear of. Women like strong, romantic types; thoughtful, caring, sensitive but masculine. Maginoo pero medyo bastos! What do men prefer?
DJ: What are the traits women have that make us think of them more than they think of us? Guys have varying preferences.
There are those who like to date go-getters, independent women who know what they want and what they do not need. They’re usually a thinking man’s crush. They’re not necessarily eye candies. Men also know that while a cotton candy can fill us up, there’s really nothing substantial inside it that can sustain us in the long run. There are also men who would rather have women with brains but prefers not to be pressured to use it more often. It’s really hard to put people (men or women) in a box. It’s almost imposibble to find the right fit!
M: It’s difficult to find the right fit when you don’t know what you want or what you like. As I said, there are a lot of choices. And we are only limited by what we allow to limit us. What kind of woman do you like, DJ? The shy one or the shy pirme bida kind of girl?
DJ: Shy, reserved girls can be a turn-on. It’s a challenge to get through them.
Being reserved is like a double-edged sword. Holding back can be very intriguing. Once we break through them, figuratively, it’s cool to know they like us enough for them to open up to us. This is a sharp contrast from the loud and flirty types who consider every guy in the world special. But then again, if we realize that her being shy is mainly because she’s painfully insecure or is just an act, she might just be dropped faster than how she can say the word "turn-off." What women do or do not do is mainly because of something they have or do not have inside their mind and thus, their heart.
That’s how we look at it regardless of our Zodiac sign. And unfortunately, no horoscope can predict or change that. But the ones who are uncontrived and carefree, those who are true and generous with their smile are the ones who fit at least the frame of almost every thinking man’s dream.
M: What’s important for women to know is that they just have to be themselves and not pretend they’re something or someone other than who they are for another person to really appreciate them. What matters is substance not form.
Although it helps if you come in a pleasant or pleasing to look at package.
Eventually your true self emerges no matter how hard you act otherwise.
This statement may be trite but true “Outer beauty without inner beauty is a sham”.
DJ: To thine own self be true. That’s the moral of the story. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And it’s important for a woman to be secure of who she already is. She can be independent or reserved. She can have the form of a 16th century Rubenesque woman (otherwise known as chubby) or waif-like (otherwise known was wang-ni). She can even belong to her own category.
What matters is she loves herself enough for her to love others more than herself. This makes us want to know more about who she is, what she thinks and what makes her laugh. And if she needs to change, it’s because she wants it and not because she wants to be attractive to men. Follow the advice of a mentor to a Pinoy Dream Academy wannabe. She just needs to be herself. She can’t always be right. But she is never wrong. A woman who is confident intimidates us but we also know we like women who does and says things that make her different. We can’t always put a finger on why but it doesn’t matter. We already love her just the way she is.
