Friday, November 02, 2007 Malilong: Eulogy to Common Sense By Frank Malilong The Other Side
(WITH apologies to whoever wrote the original)
The following article was e-mailed to me by a friend. I found it appropriate for sharing on all All Saints’ Day. I took the liberty of making a few changes, with apologies to the unnamed author whose permission I have neither sought nor obtained:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies: Don't spend more than you can earn; reliable strategies: Adults, not children, are in charge; and the wisest law: Don’t do unto others what you don’t want them to do unto you.
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy expelled from school for kissing a classmate; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when the Courts began sending teachers to jail for the lightest pinch in a naughty kid’s ear.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. When the death penalty was abolished, he suffered his first stroke.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault; when you couldn’t send a 16-year-old maniac who stalked and raped your daughter because he’s still too young.
He had his second stroke when a man of the cloth toyed with the straps of a girl penitent during confession and was cleared of any wrongdoing because he was God’s other self when he did that.
The third came when an accused plunderer was sent, not to jail, but to a luxurious vacation home from where he goes out regularly to visit relatives and carouse with friends even as another who was charged with stealing his neighbor’s fighting cock remained locked in the company of hardened criminals.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after the plunderer, who was convicted following years of costly trial, was offered pardon within minutes after his sentence was read; and, was released from his luxurious vacation home and offered a job even as he remained unrepentant.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his three stepbrothers: I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
