Sunday, November 25, 2007 Luab: Speaking of identities By Evelyn R. Luab Light Sunday
WE are God’s creatures first. We are our husband’s wives next. We are also the mother of our children. That is how we, women, identify ourselves. Then we branch out.
In my case, I was an English mentor, then a business partner. Now, I’m privileged to be a Sunday columnist of Sun.Star Cebu, and finally a lay apostolate together with others who try to walk His path.
However these are the tags we place on ourselves. What about the unlabelled identities we wear?
Do we “pride” ourselves with being a daily churchgoer? (Careful! Remember the Pharisees?) Are we thought of by our domestic help as unreasonable terrors bent on perfect servitude, and callous to the needs and feelings of those who make life easier for us?
Are we seen as Scrooge—the grumpy, stingy individual who refuses to part with our money because we just love to watch our bankbook grow? Or are we the exact opposite of Scrooge and are so wanton in our splurging because we believe in the saying: “Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die”?
Are we seen in public as the chic, intelligent, refined sophisticate, careful of the way we look and speak yet have dual personalities as in Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde?
Can we, too, turn nasty in temper, mouth expletives in the privacy of our home and become the exact apposite of what we show in public? Are we known as the generous philanthropist and yet pay our employees in such a manner that they are terribly exploited? Do we grumble and murmur when our employees ask for an advance? Do we give them the same food we eat?
Or do we give them substandard rice and viand fit only for animals?
I witnessed this incident once. My late relative stood tall in high society, belonging to the upper 100 list.
Yet when we paid her a visit, she had a chain and lock on her fridge. She had a store by the side of her house. However, after serving us the cold soft drinks, her help asked us to pay for our snack since it came from the store.
This relatives told us that she was sending her maid (who was sick) home.
She didn’t want to pay for the medicines nor take care of her help. To me that was an eye-opener.
Some (by that I really mean, not all) “do-gooders” group together and announce that they are taking care of scholars, orphans, street children, have feeding programs, etc.
That is a very noble task. However, some will not help or give their donations unless pictures of their “generous” selves are published to announce that they are doing good. I suppose they haven’t heard of Christ’s admonition: “Do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing.”
So which identity do we recognize? The compassionate one? Or the self serving one?
What is worst is when a group receives huge donations or tithing from abroad or from their members, and call it help or use it to share with the less fortunate of their brothers. But we see the heads of these groups have mansions, beach houses or are able to travel all over the world. So which identity do we see? The service-oriented one or the greedy and corrupt one?
On the other hand, we see people who stand up for what they believe in. My faith in Senator Joker Arroyo as the senator who stands for integrity has not been shaken.
I have a daughter who doesn’t allow her only child to watch the Tom and Jerry cartoons. Everyone, including her husband, says, “Let her watch it.
We’ll explain that it’s ‘just for fun’!”
But my daughter answers, “She’s still too young. Perhaps when she is older and understands what ‘just for fun’ means. I don’t want her to be cruel to cats.” So there you are! She wants her daughter to be kind. She does not allow herself to be swayed by us.
So, what about you? Are you for real? What is your identity. Are you enjoying life without a mask and are able to answer to the saying: “What you see is what you get?”
